Hi @sunrise_sunset, thanks for sharing your story. You have had a long road so good you found us all here. We are all here to help and support each other. There are no questions you cannot ask here and there is no judgement either. We all get it. It does take awhile to process it all.
Have you taken to a counsellor or psychologist. Many of us do that too. I am not saying you have to, each to their own. I did see a psychologist a few times and it was helpful i had very similar pathology to you, although no lymph involvement.
I hope yyou have good support around you with family and friends. It can get lonely as others don't really understand and that's why this group is excellent.
I think there are a few things that help get through all this, like walking or yoga or other exercise if you can. Getting out in nature is very grounding too. Do what you love to do, be kind to yourself. Ask for help if you need it and take deep breaths every now and then. Best wishes to you.