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Mez_BCNA's avatar
Mez_BCNA
Community Manager
7 months ago

New diagnosis shocked and devastated

Moderator moved @susie55 comment in Activity section to new discussion post:
Hi my name is Susie, today 30 September 9.30 I got my biopsy result I've got breast cancer  

I'm 54 year old, I'm shocked  and devastated I feel lonely. My brain doesn't function anymore. My surgeon tell me to do few  test  and port insert and what kind treatment I’ll get. Anyone have any advise for me?

My stress is rocket High at sky, I already can't sleep for couple weeks ( when I first fund my lump) always woke up cant back to sleep. Cant eat always worry a lot of stress. and I'm sorry English is not my first language 
I hope everyone who reading this understand 🙏 i never ever thought I’ll get cancer because I doing breast test every couple year and last year is Clear. Dr Said I have dense breast, Anyone have same problem with me? How to manage stress and manage another test and waiting the result? ( MRI, PET scan and heart Scan )  Manage the chemo etc ….

Any help appreciate 🙏
anxiety
Dense-Breast-Tissue
new-diagnosis
support

9 Replies

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  • terrianne's avatar
    terrianne
    Member
    7 months ago
    Good luck, both with your GP and with your next tests. Hopefully getting some answers and clear plans for next steps will help with the anxiety.
  • susie55's avatar
    susie55
    Member
    7 months ago
    Hi 
    Terrianne
    thank you I do afraid to talk to my mom 
    I’m afraid she shock and collapse 
    In my country word cancer is very scary 
    special my mom. Coz we don’t have any member of whole my family have cancer. Still plenty people afraid to go to dr to do check up 
    they end up only used herbal or another alternative to fix it. I’ll talk to them maybe after my treatment 
    I know if no fear for them and for me 
    I just can’t do it, and still waiting my other test is sooo stressful 

    I know right my mind just go everthing bad 
    how if this that 
    is crazy how the mind can manipulate self 
    will see my GP next Tuesday and get this anxiety sort out wish me luck 🙏
  • susie55's avatar
    susie55
    Member
    7 months ago
    Hi jenny thank you 
    yeah I have bit sleep is better then yesterday 
    I go out walking and get tired and have few hour sleep 
    even thought still woke up at 4 am and hard to back to sleep 
    hopefully tonight get better.
    im still waiting to do other test ….. before start my treatment …. 
  • terrianne's avatar
    terrianne
    Member
    7 months ago

    I don't think you're lacking courage - it's a hard conversation to have, especially at a distance, over the phone or video call or email. Mez mentioned Cancer Council Victoria's counselling service - one of the counsellors there would be able to help you with how you handle that.

    For myself, most of my family is in another state, so pretty much all the 'letting family know' was via phone.  All I could do was mentally rehearse the opening lines: "I have some not-great news. Not the worst news, or anything, but not great. Turns out I have DCIS, which is..." and on from there.  I was pretty lucky in that my family is fairly low-key - when you ring them and start off with something like that, they tend to listen before launching into questions or tales of how some other distant relative had it and they're fine now.

    On the mind not functioning; that's definitely a thing.  One piece of advice the nurse counsellor who was at my diagnosis gave me that has helped, especially in the first month to six weeks was "get a notebook".  Write down everything - the question you think of at four in the morning, the terms you want a definition of, the leads about treatment that a breastcare nurse might mention for you to raise with your surgeon.  When your mind is going a million miles an hour, cycling endlessly, those notes can be very grounding and helpful.

    Something that's worked for me - not all the time, but a fair amount of it - was having an actual 'worry time' scheduled on my calendar. Then, when my brain started to spin out at night, I could say very firmly that I have time for that tomorrow, right now I need to sleep at least a little.  It wasn't an instant anxiety cure and it didn't always work, but it was enough to get me through, especially in the weeks just after diagnosis when I didn't know what was going to happen next.

    And last, sometimes even taking it day by day is hard. When that hits, you go to taking it hour by hour, or just aim to get through this next thing.  Even if it's just 'get to the MRI appointment on time' or 'have a cup of tea and a little cry', do just that thing; whatever is after can wait its turn.

     


  • jennyss's avatar
    jennyss
    Member
    7 months ago
    Dear @susie55,
    Hope you had a good sleep last night!

    from jennyss in Western NSW
  • Mez_BCNA's avatar
    Mez_BCNA
    Community Manager
    7 months ago

    lorns → susie55

    Hi @susie55

    Welcome to the group. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis. 

    Don't stress about the stress, it's very, very normal. These first few weeks after diagnosis while you wait for answers are intense. I found it helped to focus on one thing at a time, and try not to think too far ahead. My surgeon was great at giving me the information I needed for that period of time and based on scan results. There's a lot they can't say without the scan results - especially as so much of your next steps are based on those.

    I was diagnosed back at Easter. I had surgery first - left mastectomy, and am about two thirds of my way through chemo, with radiation and hormone therapy to come yet.

    Are you having chemo first or surgery?

    It sounds like you have a few tests to come. The MRI is very simple, it's to get another set of images to understand how much of the breast is involved and helps to plan for surgery. The PET scan is an MRI with an extra step. They inject you with irradiated glucose and then you lie down quietly for an hour while the glucose is used up by active cells in your body and then the MRI is used to see where that glucose goes. The heart scan is to get a baseline of how healthy your heart is prior to treatment. I'm very glad to hear your surgeon is talking about a port insertion - it makes chemo so much easier (especially if you have difficult veins).

    Cancer council have free counsellors you can talk to and your breast care nurse can answer a lot of questions and point you to support resources. The breast care nurses really are an absolute godsend!

    It may help to talk to your GP about something to help with getting to sleep and managing your stress. It's so difficult to manage stress and process everything without proper rest. While you might have no appetite, it could help to schedule food into your day so you can make sure you're getting something in (even if you don't feel like it).

    Definitely post here too if you have questions or want to rant - there's so many lovely people here!

  • susie55's avatar
    susie55
    Member
    7 months ago
    Thank for the advice 
    My surgeon organise pet scan and mri at Austin hospital. I’m here just with my husband and kids all my family overseas and I couldn’t talk to them I don’t have courage yet to tell them.And I booked my GP nextweek to talk about t my anxiety 
    and what see came up as we go a long will update 
    thank you ..  
    and I have some nurse care call me this afternoon to help me out ….
    that is wonderful ….
    Just all sudden still can’t believe it but ya 
    I have to accept in some point and start the journey 
    Hopely I can sleep tonight …. 
  • Mez_BCNA's avatar
    Mez_BCNA
    Community Manager
    7 months ago

    @susie55 It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time and I am sorry to hear this.

    As AFraser mentions above, counselling can be useful and I will provide you with several resources below that hopefully can assist.

    GP mental health plans If your GP believes that you would benefit from ongoing counselling, they can draw up a GP mental health plan and refer you to an appropriate specialist. A GP mental health plan allows you to up to 10 individual Medicare-subsidised appointments and 10 group appointments with an allied health mental health service provider such as a clinical psychologist, specialist GP, social worker or clinical occupational therapist. For further information, please see BCNA's website page Assistance from your GP

    I’m not sure where you are being treated, however if you have a breast care nurse she/he may be able to link you in with services available in the centre/hospital. If you do not have a breast care nurse supporting you, referral to a McGrath Breast Care Nurse 1800 183 338 is available to you for free, whether you’re in the private or public health system. McGrath Breast Care Nurses can support you from diagnosis and throughout your treatment and provide support for the various stages of breast cancer. 

    Cancer Council Victoria Cancer Counselling Service offers an opportunity to talk with nurse counsellors and psychologists who can help you with cancer-related challenges. To discuss a referral or your support options call Cancer Council 13 11 20. They also provide the Cancer Connect program, available for people with cancer to connect with a peer for telephone-based support. To find out more about the program, eligibility and referral process, contact their team on 13 11 20 or by email.

    BCNA’s My Journey resource which is accessible online. This resource provides high quality, evidence-based information which can be tailored to your individual diagnosis and which provides insights from others diagnosed with breast cancer (It also has a symptom tracker). I have hand picked a couple of articles that may be of interest to you:

    Peter Mac’s Cancer Mind Care Is a free, self-help online platform offering tailored mental health support for people with cancer, their support persons, clinicians, and First Nations. Accessible online, Australia wide www.cancermindcare.org.au

    Hope the above resources support you, however please do not hesitate to contact our Helpline on the number below to discuss further.

  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    7 months ago
    Dear @susie55

    The shock is understandable. Dense breast tissue is harder to scan, so sometimes very early cancer can be missed but cancer may also develop quite quickly. 

    Do you have family or good friends who can assist you in getting and understanding the information from your surgeon, and later your oncologist? Most people find getting the full story of their diagnosis and treatment helps in coming to terms with the unwelcome reality. The scans and tests you are having will all help in determining the best treatment for your particular diagnosis. 

    Can you talk to your GP about some temporary assistance with sleep? Anxiety is normal but not terribly helpful at this time. Once you know more, you might also find some counselling useful, your GP can refer you. Cancer not only affects the body but it can really mess with your emotions too - many counsellors can give excellent advice on how to cope, to reduce your stress and to get back on a more even keel. Best wishes.