Nervous about next step

Hi @Schwen glad you didn't have to spend the night in ICU and you were given the option to do it under local. It was also my first procedure done under local also, so I can understand how weird it must've been, haha. The pain will be like that for a couple of days or so but I found that putting an icepack on it helped with the bruising and swelling. First Chemo session will always be scary for most, if not all people who have to do it so it's perfectly understandable. I assume they have advised what treatment you are doing and for how long? Have they given you the option of the cooling cap?

Niki
xo

Update time.....Yesterday I had my port put in, was upset that I had to go under general again, as it meant that I would be spending the night in ICU yet again, but 5min before I was wheeled into theatre the aneathatist came to talk to me, and gave me the option of having local instead of general, so was able to come home after surgery, was a very very weird experience, and i also found out why people always have bruises left, right and centre after an operation, they push, pull and poke you the whole time lol, put things all over you, one stage they put some sort of a gel pad thing on my left thigh and it was like it had just came out of the freezer it was that cold, and of course i said holy shit thats cold, and the nurse said, oh dear sorry forgot you were awake, so use to patients being out to it not awake lol......needless to say that today there is quite alot of discomfort and hurts to move my neck.....but now i am ready for next Thursday my first day of Chemo, now I have found out that I have to face it alone, so to put it lightly i am shitting myself....but I will just put my big girl panties on and suck it up and face it head on.....
Cheers
Wendy....

Hey @Schwen.  I made it out of the doctors office without the tears.  Mostly because I was pissed off with her attitude.  Once I got out of her office I hit the floor in a blubbering mess in front of all the patients that were there waiting for their chemo appointments.  So glad I had my breast care nurse along to catch me and find a quiet place to hide.  
It's pretty normal to be floored by that appointment.  
xoxoxo

Eastmum said:

Ok so I just read back on my post and realised that my kids would be absolutely on the floor laughing uncontrollably - at me, not with me, if they knew that I wrote WFT insteand of WTF - I mean really mum - get it right!!! 

LOL! Didn't even pick up on it so it doesn't matter :wink:

Ok so I just read back on my post and realised that my kids would be absolutely on the floor laughing uncontrollably - at me, not with me, if they knew that I wrote WFT insteand of WTF - I mean really mum - get it right!!! 

hi @Schwen I remember sitting with my oncologist post-op and we were talking about starting chemo etc and I couldn't help but sob in her office. Like you, I was okay with having my mastectomy as I knew why they were doing it but I was so afraid of the unknown. How will my body react? Will I get really sick? What are my other options and I wanted to opt out but I knew this was the best thing for me. I had my partner come with me on my first day and as they fitted me with the cooling cap, the lady I was sharing a machine with comforted me. We spoke throughout my treatment as I cried but after I did it, I knew that it was something I could do and take the side affects as they come. I always ensure that I well prepared for anything that may have come my way so I noted all of my side affects and relayed them onto the nurses/oncologist and they were really great and supportive. 

PS. Pink live is AH-MAY-ZING!

Hi @Schwen - OMG I have always wanted to see Pink in concert! What an amazing night to look forward to! 

The anticipation is the absolute worst part. I was so scared before my first chemo - MUCH more worried about that than about my double mastectomy. Operations I could get my head around - been there done that - but pumping poison into my veins? WFT? How was that going to go down? Turned out to be absolutely fine. The oncology nurses were amazing and kind and thoughtful. And what really helped was asking all the people on here, to share their chemo experiences. I knew that everyone had their own, unique story but getting the whole bell curve of experiences in my head gave me a wide range of possible expectations.

For someone like me, who survives on gathering info, that was a godsend. Here’s the link to the discussion:
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/18682/chemo-here-i-go#latest

Sending you tons of good wishes and positive thoughts. Please keep in touch and let us know how you’re doing Wendy. 

Xxxxx Yvette 

Yes Wendy, it does get better. Just like anything, the unknown is scary. And then you do it, and then you do it again and then all of a sudden it's routine. It's not nice but you get used to it and the time passes. You'll be right. Big hug. K xox

And here's the story of my first chemo (which I've copied & pasted from another post):

Oh gawd yes! The first time I had chemo, I was fitted with the cold cap and then left on my own in the far bed in a two bed room for the freeze to start.

I have four kids at home, including my niece & nephew whose mum died from BC, as well as a father-in-law who lost his daughter to a brain tumour. I have to keep a brave face on.

It was just over a month since I was diagnosed, I'd had two surgeries, thrown an 18th birthday party and hosted Christmas for 13 at my house two weeks before. I was exhausted, and finally in a quiet and neutral space.

The nurse left the room, I covered my face with my hand and burst into tears. I howled, and howled, and howled. It was loud! After a while I heard a noise and uncovered my eyes to see a little old lady in a hospital gown on a walker at the end of my bed. "Are you all right dear?" "Yes. No." And back to sobbing...

She shuffled off to get the nurse but by that time there was a bit of a crowd at the door and someone else had gone to to get the nurse. She arrived, shut the door on the onlookers, held my hand and told me I was in a safe place and to let it out. I bawled non-stop for an hour!

And that's only one of my sobbing stories Wendy. No use bottling any of it up, screams, tears or otherwise. Only leads to an explosion! K xox

Well had my Chemo Education session with the breast care nurse today..... was fine until we went for a walk around the Chemo ward and i think thats when it actually hit me, for some reason I am having more trouble coming to terms with having to have Chemo, then the whole breast cancer, breast removal thing, I am actually terrified...and today when i seen all the chairs and the few people that were having their treatment, and i broke, I just stood there in tears...felt like a right goose, cause normally i am a very strong person, and I dont cry infront of other people, especially if i dont know them... did this happen to anyone else...does it get any easier.... Thanks Wendy