Nervous about next step

Update time.....Yesterday I had my port put in, was upset that I had to go under general again, as it meant that I would be spending the night in ICU yet again, but 5min before I was wheeled into theatre the aneathatist came to talk to me, and gave me the option of having local instead of general, so was able to come home after surgery, was a very very weird experience, and i also found out why people always have bruises left, right and centre after an operation, they push, pull and poke you the whole time lol, put things all over you, one stage they put some sort of a gel pad thing on my left thigh and it was like it had just came out of the freezer it was that cold, and of course i said holy shit thats cold, and the nurse said, oh dear sorry forgot you were awake, so use to patients being out to it not awake lol......needless to say that today there is quite alot of discomfort and hurts to move my neck.....but now i am ready for next Thursday my first day of Chemo, now I have found out that I have to face it alone, so to put it lightly i am shitting myself....but I will just put my big girl panties on and suck it up and face it head on.....
Cheers
Wendy....