Last 4 weeks of chemo then mastectomy-feeling low

I am not really newly diagnosed but still have quite a ways to go to finish treatment so thought I would post on this forum. I was diagnosed in June and had a lumpectomy and wide node clearance a week later. The surgery was OK but I developed serous fluid build up in the breast post op and had to have it drained many times, finally hospitalised because the oncologist thought it was infected. Went home with a drain, which came out a week later and then another week later I started chemo, 12 weeks of AC, which thankfully is over. I am in the final 4 weeks of Taxol, which I am tolerating much better with fewer side effects. I have a mastectomy scheduled for 15 Jan (have a 4 week or so break and then 28 days of radiation) and I have chosen not to have a reconstruction. This was a choice I made as soon as the surgeon said he hadn't been able to get clear margins so a mastectomy was what was recommended. I am 67 and a reconstruction is just not something I ever considered. This week I started researching breast forms, bras, etc and became very overwhelmed. I think when I thought about surgery I put my 'nurse hat' on and thought about it clinically, how I would recover, that sort of thing. Now that it is getting closer it feels different. While chemo, especially AC, was brutal it was all inside me, something happening I couldn't see even though I knew there were toxic drugs in my body. The removal of my breast is something outside for me to see and that has really hit me hard today. I know that for now I need to concentrate on the next 4 weeks and getting through chemo but as a nurse I also crave information and so wanted to start researching the next step and what that entailed. Well I found out fast, I am overwhelmed! I guess I am feeling very emotional today and needed to share how I was feeling with others who have been through what I am experiencing. Thank you to anyone who is listening...