I had a reconstruction also but my final surgery really hit home that my breasts were gone forever and what has been rebuilt will never replace them.
Towards the end of chemo you are exhausted both physically and mentally and I remember feeling very depressed on taxol about the same point as you. Teary and just so so tired. It all seemed too much. Know that it gets better about 7 weeks post chemo a little of the old you returns as with hope. I truly believe chemo impacts on our brain chemistry hense the depression. You are doing a physical and mental marathon presently. And what I say as a fellow nurse is to accept what we can't control. Accept you will need the help of a breast form specialist who will compassionately help you through this part. For now Jen...just be kind to you. Go out with friends and family, drink the good coffee (the one thing for me which still tasted good) I used to go to a hydro pool and just walk with my sister. The end is close and it's just exhausting but you are here heading over the finish line.
Kath x
