Just need to talk to someone

Hi Mez, thank you for responding. I appreciate you hearing me. 

About the breast care nurse, I have not been referred yet, I wasn’t sure if you just take a stab in the dark and pick one from the list?  Am I supposed to contact one directly?  

Also after mastectomy, there seems to be a lot of stuff to get in terms of underwear and easy to put on clothes?  How do you know what bits you need to get?

I apologise for the random questions but I’m wanting to be prepared…. 

my daughter says just get a tshirt 

But I’m not sure if that is helpful though it made me laugh 

Your feelings of confusion and panic (and fear) are entirely normal. Unfortunately, they make it even more difficult to get your head around what is happening and what options you have. Do you have a sensible partner, good friend or relative to accompany you on consultations? It's often easier for a calm and good companion to understand what is being discussed and to discuss this with you, probably more than once, afterwards because they are in a much calmer state to comprehend what is being discussed and to ask relevant questions for you. The more you get to know what is happening, the more you can feel a bit in control and not entirely lost. As Mez says, a breast care nurse may be a huge help at this time, ask your GP or surgeon. 

It will take you some time to feel this, but a diagnosis means the start of doing something about it. Without it, the cancer just grows. So you are starting on a recovery. A mastectomy is daunting for anyone, but usually surprisingly pain free, particularly if there are no lymph nodes involved. You may be recommended to have herceptin after your surgery - either an infusion or tablets. Painfree either way. Your treatment will be focussed on reducing, as far as possible, the chance of any recurrence. You will want to think about reconstruction - some do, some don't, it's an entirely personal choice but to help you make it, your surgeon needs to advise on options, when each option is best done and of course costs and, in some states, how long you may have to wait for such surgery. 

If you are working, you will need some leave for surgery (it can vary a lot, I only took a week off, I'm a quick healer) but you may want more time. It's entirely up to you who you tell - some want to keep the matter confidential (so maybe only your HR people) others are happy to let colleagues know what is happening. The same with family really - most of all, you don't want upset and anxious people fussing about you and making demands at this time.  The ones who are calm and supportive are the ones you can best rely on.

There will be a time when all of this will be a faded recollection. Hard to imagine now, but many have been through this, just as confused and unsure as you, and not only survived but lived well. Keep looking forward. Best wishes. 

Thankyou for posting your discussion CrazyDogLady67​  – while we wait for other people to share their experience and offer their insights. We wanted to assure you that it makes a lot of sense that you’re feeling confused, panicked, and overwhelmed right now.

Many people tell us that in the early days after a breast cancer diagnosis it can feel like everything is happening at once, with too much information and not enough time to take it in. There is nothing “slow” about you, this is a very normal response to a life‑changing situation and it’s okay that things don’t feel clear yet.

You’re not expected to understand everything all at once. For most people, clarity comes gradually and plans start to form. If you’ve been assigned a breast care nurse at the hospital, they can be a really important person to talk things through with helping explain what’s happening, answering questions, and being a steady point of support. If you haven’t yet been linked in with a breast care nurse, you may find the Find a McGrath Cancer Care Nurse Near You helpful in locating a nurse near you who can provide free, ongoing support.

We (BCNA) also has resources designed to support people who are newly diagnosed. Many people find it reassuring to work through information at their own pace:

• My Journey – a trusted, step‑by‑step resource that provides clear information tailored to where you’re at, from diagnosis onwards
  • Getting through the first few weeks  (article)
  • You may like to watch BCNA’s Webcast: Just diagnosed - what’s next?
• BCNA's Helpline (1800 500 258) – to talk things through with someone who understands, when things feel like too much and can offer further resources to support you

Support is available and know that you are not alone.