Well what a nong!
When I was diagnosed through Breastscreen they had put us with a Counsellor. Her advice was to surround ourselves with positive people. Keep the negativity out
That's what you've done here! People never cease to amaze. I lost a girlfriend as it was all about her yet she'd never had BC and I was expected to do it her way without consideration for me.
Have you ordered your free My Journey kit - order through BCNA online. There is booklets within to help partners and families.
Check the BCNA site for resources near your area.
By stealth is a great suggestion.
Take care