My breast cancer was discovered on the 10th of may 2012, and since then I've cried, I've reached out to friend via face book and the feedback has been overwhelming. But to say those words "I have breast cancer" have to be whispered because I don't want to upset my kids. They are all boys 11, 8 and 6. I need to be brave and positive for them and my hubby but I can't sleep, I'm scared and worried about the financial impact. Does anyone else relate?

Hi.. First up it's okay to be scared and cry... we all do... and you don't have to be brave. Once you have been to see your surgeon and get a plan of action things will start to feel better... trust me. It's been just over six weeks since I was diagnosed, I stil cry.. and I still feel anxious but I feel heaps better. You will find this web site amazing. Regardng your kids.. you will be amazed at how resiliant they will be. I have a seven nearly eight year old son. I fed him little bits at a time. I started off telling him that mummy had a lump in her breast that the doctor had to cut out so I would be going to hospital but would be home the next day. Later I told him that the special medicine I had to have would make me sick to start but I would get better. I then told him the medicine would make my hair fall out but it would grow back... maybe curly (we had a laugh) and finally (at another time) I told him the name for my sickness was Breast Cancer... that Cancer was another name for sickness. I told his school and the parents of his friends... the support from them is amazing. He's amazing... he even likes my short hair. Take it one day at a time... go for a walk to clear your head... if you haven't already done so order the 'My Journey kit ' from this web site and ask lots of questions.... Trina

I was diagnosed the day before you. I have 3 girls older than your kids, mine are 11, 13 and 19. The 19 knew from the outset but the younger 2 we had to tell. I have been completely honest with them. They initially were shattered but we all had a good cry and hug together. There is no good way to deal with this but you can't be strong for them 24/7. If they see you trying to be strong they may think they need to be strong as well. They need to know that it's ok to be scared, sad, angry and that all of these emotions are normal. If you allow your feelings to show, it also gives them an opportunity to comfort you. That in itself is good for them. The cancer council has an excellent booklet on talking to kids about cancer and gives guidelines for each age group. It's free and you can either order it online or your local treatment centre might have one. Good luck sweetheart and know that we are all here for you on your journey. Big hugs xxx Dan

Hi Vicki, I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and had an urgent mastectomy followed by chemo, radiation, Herceptin, and will have oestrogen blockade in the future. I have just had a secondary brain tumour removed and am awaiting results as to whether i need more radiation and chemo etc. Like you I have 3 kids aged 14, 11 and 10. I have found that they have coped and responded better when I have been completely upfront about the cancer. My husband left us and ran away overseas the very day chemo started, and I have had to support the children and myself this last year. It has not been easy, but I have found that by opening up and sharing my experience then friends and family, especially those school friends of my children have responded and been a fantastic support. My 11 year old, came into hospital after my mastectomy and said, "so, how serious is this?" Bless his little heart! Kids can understand a lot more than we give them credit for and they feel insecure if they know you are hiding something from them. My advice to you is to not whisper, but to talk openly to your kids, dont let them just overhear you talk to others. Be direct and honest. My son was also adamant that he didnt want me to get a wig. He said "Mum, everyone knows you are sick, you dont need to get a wig, just be yourself". My daughter was upset that I needed more chemo and said "Mum I dont want you to lose your hair again". I reassured her, that it would grow back again, just it had already done before. My daughter (10yrs) has even initiated her Grade 4 class to run a Biggest Morning Tea tomorrow to raise funds for cancer. The class parents are all donating the food which will be sold to the teachers and pupils in the whole school for recess. What a fantastic community we belong to. As Dan says, the cancer council have excellent resources for children, as do the social workers at your treatment centre. We were also given one for teens, called "What Now". Hang in there, and let others help and support you. Cheers Sonia :-)

I have breast cancer | BCNA Online Network

36 Replies

TrishMLDB
Member
13 years ago
Hi Vicki just wondering how you have traveling ?
TrishMLDB
Member
13 years ago
Hi Vicki just wondering how you have traveling ?
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Vicki I am having AC so I have been told a few different things many that is it pretty rugged. I will be take my meds and just suck it up as best I can . Hope you are doing ok. Trish
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Vicki I am having AC so I have been told a few different things many that is it pretty rugged. I will be take my meds and just suck it up as best I can . Hope you are doing ok. Trish
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Thanks Vicki I am having AC so I have been told a few different things many that is it pretty rugged. I will be take my meds and just suck it up as best I can . Hope you are doing ok. Trish
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi Trish, look I had a bit of a headache, heart burn and through a few times on the first night. But if I had of used the stematil suppository first off it would have worked quicker. They give you a lot of meds to take home for your particular chemo mix side effects, I'm on FEC which is how the Irish pronounce another F word lol. After day one I was just tired and very weak.. However write how you feel down in that diary they give you and tell you oncology doctor as he can chop and change the mix to help decrease the effects. My second time around is a lot less dramatic no headache or vomiting. Still need to take it easy and not try to over do things. Let us know how you get on with your new port. Love Vicki xoxo
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi Sonia, two of my lymph nodes had cancer in them an they drain blood up ie throat and brain so what you wrote resonated with me, how are you going now withmthemsecond round of chemo and did you need radiation? Love vicki
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
Glad you are going well , very anxious about chemo side effects.

My drain came out finally at one month -last Friday still draining and have dressing but so much better than drain.

I start chemo Friday 'AC' - The port is good, no pain mild discomfort if pressed or leant on my little cuddler.

thanks for the update I've been meaning to check in and find out how to start a post .

Love Trish
vickifletcher21
Member
14 years ago
Hi Trish how is the port working out for you, and I trust the drain is out now. I had my second round of chemo yesterday with little to no side effects, just tired but I can deal with that. Love Vicki
TrishMLDB
Member
14 years ago
I did ask my surgeon for a port and I am booked in for insertion next week, before I see Chemo Oncologist . Looks like I will be having Hercepton following Chemo so port definitely will be easier . Drain still here and staying at moment but I'll survive :)

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I have breast cancer

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