We have interesting ways of dealing with stress and grief both of which play a big part in the whole BC bunfight. Denial is perfectly normal and is part of the whole messy business. As are anger and depression. Not everyone gets the full dose of misery, but most of us have experienced feelings very similar to what you are going through now
You can get access to a few subsidized visits to a counsellor through your GP. You may or may not be familiar with that process, but many of us have found the experience positive. Mind you, the first one I saw made me feel (by comparison) like the sanest person in Victoria--occasionally you need to shop around to find someone who suits.
As you say, if you don't feel like it matters, you may as well do it. Keep plodding. Mxx
