"I don't have time for BC"
Let me start from the beginning...
Fri 13th April 2018, a day after I turned 35 years old. As I was getting ready for work, I felt a strange lump on my right breast and it was painful to touch. Initially, I thought it was muscle soreness from training at the gym. But something was telling me it was not - the lump felt strange and I have never seen it before. Three hours later, the GP was booking me an appointment for an examination at the breast clinic.
My thoughts at the time... First of all, I am too young to have BC. I don't smoke, I drink occasionally, I don't have a family history and nor do I have any pre-existing medical issues. As a woman of the Australian Defence Force, I pride myself on being fit and healthy. I am a good person... so there is no way I could have BC. Absolutely... no way!
Mon 16th April, there is probably a good reason why no one told me a breast biopsy hurts like a Mother F*@ker! because I probably wouldn't have turned up. A whole day of mammograms and ultrasounds followed by an agonising biopsy - revealed I had two lumps in my right breast. My body - in pain. My mind - on another planet trying to run away from reality. "This can not be happening right now".
Thu 19th April, I was diagnosed with of Ductal Carcinoma In Situ in my right breast. I remember looking at the Doctor and saying, "Excuse me, but I don't have time for BC. I am studying full-time, I am working full-time and my goal is to apply for Paramedic jobs next month, so this is really inconvenient for me". Now that I think about, I am not too sure why those words came out of my mouth, but my mind couldn't register the news. That morning I was at university, living my normal life, so I didn't take anyone with me to the appointment.
Fri 27th April, I am dressed and ready for surgery. Right breast mastectomy and reconstruction. Looking in bathroom mirror, I pause - "What the hell? My world has changed dramatically in two weeks. I mean, God, I prayed for a sign to point me in the right direction, I didn't think cancer was going to be the answer." As I look down at my right breast, I say, "Well, goodbye right breast. Thank you for 35 years of service. You have been good to me... and my ex-boyfriends, but your time on earth has come to an end. In five hours time, I will have a new breast".
Tomorrow is four weeks since the operation and I am at home, recovering. I went from an active lifestyle, on the go all the time... to a sudden stop. Planning the next step - fertility and on-going treatment. Today the oncologist recommended I freeze my eggs for the opportunity to become a mother in the future. I was not thinking about motherhood before my diagnosis. The only reason I haven't become a mother is because I thought I had time, and also, I haven't found a man who is willing to stay around long enough to want a family.
What I have discovered on this unexpected journey, is how some people approach "Cancer", including myself. All my life I have been a strong independent woman, goal orientated and never needed to rely on anyone. It feels weird for me to ask for help. I have my immediate family and friends for support, but I feel like there is something missing. Perhaps if I spoke to people who have been through BC, maybe it will help.
So here I am, writing my story in this forum. Let's see how this goes.
Flips
Fri 13th April 2018, a day after I turned 35 years old. As I was getting ready for work, I felt a strange lump on my right breast and it was painful to touch. Initially, I thought it was muscle soreness from training at the gym. But something was telling me it was not - the lump felt strange and I have never seen it before. Three hours later, the GP was booking me an appointment for an examination at the breast clinic.
My thoughts at the time... First of all, I am too young to have BC. I don't smoke, I drink occasionally, I don't have a family history and nor do I have any pre-existing medical issues. As a woman of the Australian Defence Force, I pride myself on being fit and healthy. I am a good person... so there is no way I could have BC. Absolutely... no way!
Mon 16th April, there is probably a good reason why no one told me a breast biopsy hurts like a Mother F*@ker! because I probably wouldn't have turned up. A whole day of mammograms and ultrasounds followed by an agonising biopsy - revealed I had two lumps in my right breast. My body - in pain. My mind - on another planet trying to run away from reality. "This can not be happening right now".
Thu 19th April, I was diagnosed with of Ductal Carcinoma In Situ in my right breast. I remember looking at the Doctor and saying, "Excuse me, but I don't have time for BC. I am studying full-time, I am working full-time and my goal is to apply for Paramedic jobs next month, so this is really inconvenient for me". Now that I think about, I am not too sure why those words came out of my mouth, but my mind couldn't register the news. That morning I was at university, living my normal life, so I didn't take anyone with me to the appointment.
Fri 27th April, I am dressed and ready for surgery. Right breast mastectomy and reconstruction. Looking in bathroom mirror, I pause - "What the hell? My world has changed dramatically in two weeks. I mean, God, I prayed for a sign to point me in the right direction, I didn't think cancer was going to be the answer." As I look down at my right breast, I say, "Well, goodbye right breast. Thank you for 35 years of service. You have been good to me... and my ex-boyfriends, but your time on earth has come to an end. In five hours time, I will have a new breast".
Tomorrow is four weeks since the operation and I am at home, recovering. I went from an active lifestyle, on the go all the time... to a sudden stop. Planning the next step - fertility and on-going treatment. Today the oncologist recommended I freeze my eggs for the opportunity to become a mother in the future. I was not thinking about motherhood before my diagnosis. The only reason I haven't become a mother is because I thought I had time, and also, I haven't found a man who is willing to stay around long enough to want a family.
What I have discovered on this unexpected journey, is how some people approach "Cancer", including myself. All my life I have been a strong independent woman, goal orientated and never needed to rely on anyone. It feels weird for me to ask for help. I have my immediate family and friends for support, but I feel like there is something missing. Perhaps if I spoke to people who have been through BC, maybe it will help.
So here I am, writing my story in this forum. Let's see how this goes.
Flips
