Forum Discussion

BowerBird11's avatar
6 years ago

Hiding in plain sight

Hi everyone, just a ‘newbie’ here.  
My name is Julie & I was diagnosed with ILC on the 11th Dec 2019 & so far it’s been full on, appointments....appointments & one more scan, biopsy after another.

Truth was, I was at the end of a very long work year & getting ready for a month long holiday mode & then my world was turned around with the diagnosis of Invasive Lobular Carcinoma.  

I didn’t have time for that little gem to drop it’s bomb on me.  I had Christmas planned, not to mention a very long awaited trip all organised.....

But now I’ve entered into the world of Dr’s, scans, MRI’s, biopsies....biopsies & then even more scans & even more biopsies.

Meanwhile I’m sitting here, in plain sight hiding from the world & nobody can see the raging mess my head has become.  

I’ve found myself going to bed so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, and then lying down, totally wide awake, as the words rattle in my head...........   You’ve got Breast Cancer.   You’ve got Breast Cancer.  You’ve got Breast Cancer. 
  
I’m having a dye injected into my right breast this afternoon, then a hook wire inserted first thing tomorrow, then surgery tomorrow sometime.  I guess I’m lucky things are happening so fast.  

Family & friends have been great, it’s just difficult to be totally honest with them & voicing all my fears - I can’t frighten them any more than they already are, so I’m here, writing down my thoughts and trying to get my head clearer.

Thanks for the platform to do so.  
It’s helped.