Wow, thankyou all for your kind words and thankyou that it is a place where i can express my thoughts and fears. My guts are totally churning tonight as I wait for tomorrows surgery. I am so scared (not of the surgery but what they will find). I explained to my 4 y.o tonight that I was going into hospital tomorrow for an operation, she smiled and said "just like Miffy" (who goes in to get her tonsils out) my 2 y.o is obviously oblivious to it all. I think my greatest fear is not being around for my children, I lost my mum when I was 5 and have virtually no memory of her.
Man, they seriously need to offer you a pre-med the night before to calm the nerves. I know most of you have been there already so its so reassuring to read your posts after the event.
I hope to be encouraging other women a few months down the track.