First post - struggling with the anxiety

Welcome @tsjlhm,

The ladies (as usual) have covered everything. I just wanted to say hi and what you're feeling is completely normal.  The start is just horrid.  So many unknowns and questions.  The fluctuation of emotions is hard to get through. One minute you're like "yep, I got this" the next you're a crumbling mess of tears and hoplesness. 
As the girls have said once you have your pathology and a plan is in place you will feel somewhat more in control.  Everybody hadndles the start differently.  For me, putting as much normality in my day helped a bit as did staying flat out busy,  I'm sure that's not hard with 4 kids.  I had 5 teens, slightly older than yours, at the time and they all rallied brilliantly. 

Best wishes lovely.  One day at a time, sometimes on hour at a time.

xoxoxoxox

Thanks so much to everyone - I'm glad to know this anxiety gets a little better.  Its like I can feel it growing inside me and just can't stop crying.  This is rough on my husband too.  Off for coffee for girl friends this morning before fasting for PET scan and going for walks whenever it gets a bit much.   You're all so marvelous to answer my discussion. It's amazing how your whole life can change in a few days.

@tsjlhm  Emotionally, you're probably going through one of the most difficult times after diagnosis.  I remember careening from despair to numbness to extreme anxiety.  For most of us, once we have plan and treatment starts, we start to settle down dealing with it.  As others have said, avoid Dr Google as a lot of what is on there is out of date or just plain wrong.  If you must look up stuff (and we all do it), stick with reputable sites.  I would second the advice to let your kids' teachers and schools know what is going on but to respect their wishes as to whether they want it more widely known.  Whether your kids are self-sufficient types or completely dependent, they can be the greatest practical support system.  I was amazed at how my teen and pre-teens (at the time) responded with doing stuff that needed to be done, and it's proven important for the own independence.  You may get people wanting to help.  It's always good to have some practical requests because you can end up with a fridge full of food that no-one wants to eat.  Having school-aged kids, the best help I got was having people who were happy to have them after school if treatment went overtime or take them to sports things if I couldn't do it.  The rest we could muddle through but it was really important to me that that side of things was taken care of.

When I was first diagnosed, I felt like my heart was racing, my head was going a million miles an hour and I was literally shitting my pants (I don’t think I had a proper formed no. 2 for about 10 days)... then when I found out my treatment plan, everything seemed to settle knowing what was going on.  

@Mazbeth - just click on @tsjlhm’s name .. and then click on ‘Message’ (to the right.)

then just type your message.  ;)

take care xx

I am happy to give you the name but I need to work out how to message you. I am in the S/E too. I will send you a test run and see how I go. Take care. 

Hi tsjlhm,
Great advice from the members above. Yes, I guess you'd have to be crazy NOT to experience anxiety, racing thoughts etc. after being diagnosed. We've all been there. I'm calmer three months on, but I still have my moments. Connecting on this forum has helped me manage my feelings. Great for practical advice too. Best of luck.xxx

Thanks so much. I’m in Brisbane, South-East.
I’ll  check out the young women’s group.

One of the great breast care nurses gave me the name - it will depend also on where you are located. My psychologist is incredible and has really helped me to unscramble my thoughts. I also felt that this was another thing I had in my toolbox and something I was taking control of and I am so glad I made the move. I have been overwhelmed with the kindness people have shown me. As my girls are older (22 & 20) we were open with them and they are also both in the health field. I know also that overwhelming desire to protect your kids and it is hard while you are just trying to get your head around it to know what to say. Even though my kids are older, I still found it tricky. Sometimes it may be better to wait until you have some answers and know the plan, but I know someone here may be able to give you some good advice. 

So sorry to see you here @tsjlhm - but you are in the right place for support, comfort, advise and yes, even laughs!

Yes, the anxiety is very real as @"Beryl C." says and we've all been thru it. The diagnosis alone & then jumping onto the treatment train really mucks with your brain - it goes into overdrive. 

Yes, we all want it OUT asap .... and the chemo will be to shrink it prior to surgery.  

Where abouts do you live?  Town/City/state - if you put that in your profile, members may be able to give you more specific info regarding available services to you and your children.  Yep - the kids are going thru the same stress as you too - so trying to keep information to them on an 'as needs to know' basis and age appropriate for them so they aren't too freaked out.  Do you have good friends & family nearby who maybe can help with taking them out now & then as you go thru your treatment - do you now what sort of chemo has been suggested yet?

Make sure you have a good buddy or relative with you in your appointments as a 2nd set of ears - and even record them on your phone too, for later reference. It is almost impossible to remember everything that's been mentioned in the meetings.

There is a 'Young Women' group here that you may like to join, to discuss issues with in private (only group members can see the posts.) . You can raise any issue you like with them.  Clicking on it will show BCNA, @InkPetal and @jane84 as contacts for joining ...

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women

OK - take lots of deep breaths to slow that heart beat down and (weird tho it may seem) try & keep busy doing things you would normally do!  It keeps your mind busy as well & should help reduce the anxiety.  Nothing worse than just sitting at home, brooding over it, to make it worse. If you are having difficulty sleeping - chat with your GP about tactics that may help.  We have a thread called 'night howls' where people can post any time of day or night - as we usually have someone online 'most' of the time.

Maybe start cooking up some 'freezable' meals to prepare for during your treatment - or if friends & family ask what they can do to help - maybe suggest some freezable meals!   

Take care, jump onto our funny threads for a laugh (you ARE allowed to laugh - it is actually encouraged!!)

Thinking of you as you head towards your chemo.  I didn't do chemo, but others who did will jump on & give you tips there.  WHen my husband had it, he was encouraged to drink heaps of water to help flush it out, quicker! xxx