Diagnosed 2 days ago

Hi there @Caroline71, welcome to the group that nobody joins voluntarily. Anyone who is not knocked for a six upon learning that they have cancer, would be a rare bird indeed. All of us here, young and not so young. Single and partnered, with and without kids, male and female, "get" it. When I was given a list of things to get before chemo, the first thing I purchased was a plastic bucket from Kmart for the anticipated puking. Well that bucket remains unused for the purpose and now lives a peaceful life as a laundry bucket. Never even had the collywobbles, let alone full on vomiting. Plenty of other stuff happened, but not that. I was diagnosed Grade 3 Stage 3 Triple Positive in 2016. Had AC chemo X 4 doses followed by Paclitaxol X 12 and Herceptin for a year. This was followed by bilateral mastectomy after chemo finished. Currently NED (no evidence of disease). Nothing else to add to the above posts from other members. Sending a big (((cyber hug))). Ally.

Hi @Caroline71

The ladies have already got everything covered as usual.  I just wanted to say hi and welcome.  Sux to be here for sure but you couldn't find a better place to be. Once you know exactly the beast you are dealing with and have a treatment plan you generally feel, not better as such, but somewhat more in control.

One thing I do like to tell people just starting this little "trip" is to take photos and videos.  Take pictures of everything normal, fun, silly and family times along the way.  That way when you look back over that part of your life it's not all about the cancer.  
All the best lovely.
xoxoxoxoxoxo

Dear@Caroline71
Just to add to the blitz of information, like @Zoffiel, I was never sick through 6 months of chemo, never even felt sick and worked throughout. I lost my hair sure, but never felt fatigued or ‘ill’. I got some side effects, most people do, but not those ones and most of the ones I got from chemo were nuisance quality rather than major problems. I know it’s really hard not to worry about things ahead of them happening, we’ve all done it, but energy is what you need for this little circus and so save it for things that actually happen rather than might happen. A psychologist can be an invaluable help as the emotional
can be just as difficult as the physical. And yes, if you dread needles, get a port! Everyone experiences that terrible ‘what if’ fear, but don’t let it rule your life. Even if we live to be 100, life is still too short to be ruled by fear. Best wishes. 

First of all Big Hugs to you.
This can be the scariest time. It was me in early March.

Try to find out what kind of breast cancer you have ie Triole Negative, Her positive, oeastrogen  and/ or progesterone positive.  

Lots of great I fo supplies already.
Please know that most people do not die of breast cancer nowadays. 


Thinking of you xxxx
Kylie Brisbane North

@Caroline71 So sorry to hear of your sudden diagnosis but you have found a bunch a new friends here who will support you, guide you & give you the best personal advice possible. No judgement here & you can vent all you like!
I lost my mum when she was 46 y.o. to ovarian cancer & although I cant even remember her as I was only 3 when she died, my first thoughts were of her when I was diagnosed. I can only imagine you were feeling the same about your dad. Try not to compare as treatments progress so quickly these days it will probably be different to your dad's.
The emotions, blurr of the past days must be overwhelming with appts to be made, decisions to be made & you left worrying about the What if's?? So much great advice so far that we give to the "newbies" but I will second a lot that has been given.
Get a breast care nurse ASAP. Your new best friend. I can ask mine anything, stupid questions or otherwise & she will tell me what I should do unlike some medical professionals who will guide you to make your own decisions. Sometimes you just want black & white with no grey & for someone to make decisions for you!! Breast care Nurses are trained & can give you the best advice either personally, email or by phone.
Get brochures & info  from BCNA & Cancer Council websites & also the doctors waiting room. Info is power & info from those resources are more appropriate than Dr Google!
Take hubbie/friend/family to every appt for an extra set of ears as you will probably only hear half of it. Before you go, write down all your question & there are no silly questions if they are on your mind. Take notes or record the appointment.
It's hard, but try not to overthink things...easier said than done. The goal posts change constantly so there is no use worrying over something that might not eventuate. Stress fuels cancer so dont over feed it with unnecessary worry. I worried about everything, as we all do. What surgery/treatment to have etc & most of what I worried about,  I didnt even end up having so that was a waste of my strength! Focus on what you do know & the next step, not what may happen.
Be kind to yourself & take all offers of help/food etc. Look after yourself, breath & stay strong. We are all here with you. love & hugs xx

Chemo isn't like it was even a decade ago. Yes, there are wide effects but not everyone gets them and they are much better managed. I've had two chemo experiences a decade apart and I didn't chuck up once. Considering I get so carsick I can't travel in the back seat and the smell of anything really rotten makes me heave, I was pretty surprised about that.
If you need chemo, it might be worth asking about having a port inserted. (It's ok to google stuff like ports, look  at technical stuff,  and don't get distracted )  For me, in 2016, that little box under my skin made the whole performance doable. My veins are so bad and I have developed a well deserved needle phobia so to know I wasn't going to spend months having people jab at me was a huge weight off my mind. 
Surgery is not fun, but it's rarely as bad as you expect.
 I know, this stuff is challenging.  It's a shit of a disease, but we're living in the best place in the world if you end up with it. Keep a list of questions and keep plodding on. Mxx

Thank you Zoffiel for your kind words of support and advice.
it really helps to hear from others who have been through it.
i really do not know which I fear most the surgery or the chemo but I really hate feeling nauseous and unwell so I am really dreading that and all the other awful side effects.
i am a bit of a sick at the best of times when it comes to being unwell or needles or anything like that
I already have anxiety which was worsened by my fathers death from cancer but I am now being referred to see a psychologist for everything so hopefully that will help a bit.
thank you once again and I look forward to speaking with you again hopefully xx

Hi @Caroline71 it's a mean roller coaster isn't it? Emotions flopping about all over the place is pretty much part of the ride--you don't get used to it, but you learn to deal with it. All in our own way. Cancer diagnosis is a wicked blow, but we all have our own methods of managing a crisis and you will probably surprise yourself once you process the shock.
Yep, chemo, if you have to have it, is generally disgusting. And it's really inconvenient. Once you have a course of action you are likely to be busy enough to be distracted for hours or days on end which makes life strangely easier than those dark days when you don't know what is going on and have too many unanswered questions. You will be learning a whole new language and readjusting your concepts of time and personal space which are tough lessons. But it is interesting. 
My advice is always to get a decent concertina folder and start documenting everything. Treatment is often complex and at the moment you probably think every little detail will be seared into your memory forever, but it's surprising what you forget and it's best not to rely on the system to 'remember'  for you. Get copies of all your test results and make sure you have names,  dates and times at your fingertips. Ask for cards so you have everyone's phone numbers and email addresses. It's busy work but can make the process smoother in the long run-- like any project that needs to be managed, the devil is in the details and it pays to be as organised as your temperament will allow. Hang in there,. Mxx

Good luck, deep breaths, I know you probably won't believe me :D , but once you find out your results and you get your treatment plan, things will be clearer and you will get on with it.
You'll need support so do take advantage of our health system . I had health insurance but was diagnosed through Breast Screen so went through the public system and its been fine. Not that I want to sadden you further by talking about $$$$$ but out of pocket and gap payments do add up.
You're now eligible too for 5 Medicare funded allied health appointments per year. So if you need to visit a physio , podiatrist, nutritionist,exercise physiologist you can organise the plan with your GP with small or no out of pocket expenses.
And of course there's now the 6 visit mental health plan where you can see a psychologist ,funded by Medicare with around $60 or less out of pocket. If you need more, your GP can then organise another 4 visits.
Thinking of you !

Thank you so much to all you lovely ladies.
your kind words have made me feel much better and able to think with a clearer head.
i realise I have to take it one day at a time and not try to overthink everything 
i am so glad I have found this group to talk to that understands and I am so grateful to all of you who took the time to offer kind words and support and suggestions 
it really means a lot xx