Thank you Zoffiel for your kind words of support and advice.
it really helps to hear from others who have been through it.
i really do not know which I fear most the surgery or the chemo but I really hate feeling nauseous and unwell so I am really dreading that and all the other awful side effects.
i am a bit of a sick at the best of times when it comes to being unwell or needles or anything like that
I already have anxiety which was worsened by my fathers death from cancer but I am now being referred to see a psychologist for everything so hopefully that will help a bit.
thank you once again and I look forward to speaking with you again hopefully xx