Hi @Autismandbc. Welcome to this wonderful site full of (as AllyJay says) "eclectic lot". There is always someone on here to chat to and you may well find a special friend to meet up with. Perhaps you can mention your general area to make that connection easier.
Many of us have had very hard lives and our animals really are our best friends. If you would like to check out some of our 'furry kids' go to: https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/comment/92526#Comment_92526 or if that link does not work just put 'pets' in the search bar and it will come up. (I am not great with technology).
If you can chat with a counsellor of some sort that may be very helpful, although with your condition you may not find that easy ? Perhaps call the BCNA or Cancer Council help lines.
Remember you are not alone in how you are feeling and you will be in the thoughts of many of us. Keep in touch and vent on here anytime .
All the best 💖