Forum Discussion

Caz1's avatar
Caz1
Member
6 years ago

Dealing with Christmas Day

Morning all

With the usual large family lunch approaching , I’m kind of feeling like I’m going to be a freak show on 
Chrissy day. I clearly stand out with short grey hair now, so can’t fly under the radar at all.  Many relatives I haven’t seen or heard from since diagnosis  will be there.I  don’t want non stop  conversations about cancer.
 Or stares. 
Mind you I’m planning a very short visit and will definitely play the ‘ cancer card ‘ as my get out of jail free card this year!

Does anyone have any past experience or strategies to help me?

Caz1 x
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    6 years ago
    Can’t give any advice on this thread as I mainly skip it and have done so for decades. Immediate family for Christmas Eve, used to be for dinner but with small grandchildren we have moved to lunch. No issues about Christmas Day, others spend as/where they wish, I read, listen to music and have a ham sandwich for lunch. My partner will probably paint the new downpipes! 
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    6 years ago
    @kezmusc   The site developers are working on the @bsnp thing ..... funny thing, it doesn’t happen with everyone .... just you and me!  ;) and a few others!

    @Caz1   we do picnics for Xmas day now (and have been for 35 years now!) ... low key clothes, eating outdoors, no washing up .....

     I was very anti social for my 1st Xmas following detection of lump, as I had the biopsy between Xmas and new year, then diagnosis confirmed Jan 5.  Last Xmas had a callback and another biopsy on Xmas eve, so worried thru to new year for results again!  The card thing sounds a great idea!  You’ll rock it, I reckon!  Xx



  • Caz1's avatar
    Caz1
    Member
    6 years ago
    Awww that is such great advice. :) Mine isn’t at home, so maybe I’ll hang a sign around my neck lol  ;). Will have to look into the hat situation. You’re right tho, attitude is everything.
    Maybe I’ll print out a little card with my cancer status and hand it out.....
    Thanks for your ever warm and kind response @kezmusc  xx
    I feel better already <3


  • kezmusc's avatar
    kezmusc
    Member
    6 years ago
    Geez, what is with the system adding &nsbp to everyones name????
  • kezmusc's avatar
    kezmusc
    Member
    6 years ago
    Hi @Caz1 

    Is christmas at your place or elsewhere?  We had heaps of social functions going on in the 4 moths following my diagnosis.  Milestone birthday parties, graduations, formals and of course xmas which was two weeks after my first chemo.
    I have a large family as well, huge actually.  There was a tinsel covered sign put on the door.  It read "I am fine, no BC talk today pls. Merry xmas".
    Problem solved at my place.  For the most part my imediate family were really good. They knew my thing was normality so they didn't push.
      Going elsewhere can be harder but a whole lot of fun.  Dress to kill, wear the most outrageously gorgeous hat you can find and walk in with several bottles of wine under your arm.   LOL.  Tha'tll give them something to whisper about.
     Of course there will be the ones who cannot help themselves and try to probe for information, then there will be ones who are scared of you and cancer and don't say anything.   
    The easiest thing to do I found was to answer the "How are you going" question with "I'm fine or really good", because that's what people want to hear and just say you'd rather enjoy xmas day than talk about cancer"  Hopefully that puts an end to it.

    All the best lovely.  It may be a great day and you won't want to pull that card.  Either way I hope you have an awesome time.
    xoxoxo