@LucyE @Afraser @LMK74 @Molly001 @iserbrown @SoldierCrab @Mrs_H I'm feeling much better right now and didn't mean to send out suicide alarms. But I have felt that at times I was dieing. I remember thinking well then if this is dieing then take me. It's so encouraging to hear of others suffering, why is that so,lol? Today I have found a very handsome plastic surgeon who comes highly recommended and plan to charge thru mastectomy, rads and re-construction as quickly as possible. Of my 11 siblings five are coming to visit this weekend and I feel very loved. Thank you all for your thoughts and concerns and to share with me. It really has lifted me up. (I have been seeing a cognitive therapist for several months and she has been very helpful).