SO sorry to see you here @ellendorf, in the club that no-one really wants to join - what you are feeling would be totally normal & OK ... You've had a hard time of it with the 2 lumpectomies as well ..... feel free to tell us your story so far .... you can add your town/city to your profile, as we may have members nearby who you may be able to make contact with, after this Covid madness settles down!
I only had a lumpectomy - but I took a pic of my boobs before hand, as I had no idea what the one would look like afterwards ..... you may like to do the same?
Feel free to check out this post with some handy links in the forum .... if you are into Arts & Crafts at all - put up some pics!
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latestAll the best for your surgery & recovery on Friday xx. We'll be thinking of you xx