But I'm only 31...
January 2016 I found a breast lump but I just shrugged it off, most of my friends had them, no big deal right? Being in the medical industry I knew I had to do the responsible thing so I went to get a...
Forum Discussion
Wow I am blown away by all of your love/support/encouragement! You are all such amazingly strong women and I hope that when the time comes, that I can show the same strength.
I had my first proper breakdown today... I called my breast care nurse to see when my bonescan and CT was booked and she happened to mention that the radio opaque dye would be injected...I just lost it, started sobbing hysterically telling her that I just couldn't do it anymore? Ive only just started and already I'm overwhelmed at the enormity of the immediate future. To date I've put on a brave face for two blood tests, five attempted cannulations and 8 daily injections...and I have to start injections 4 times a day once my period starts in 2days time. Then Lymphocentography involves 4 injections into my breast that has already had an operation in (I can't even wear my normal bra or sleep on my tummy because of the pain), and then another couple of cannulation attempts for my sentinel node excision (done seperately to my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery). I know most people see needles as an uncomfortable necessary evil but for me, each time it takes more thought and energy than I would expend going sky diving. I thought I was in a good place mentally and emotionally but as soon as I heard about the change I just fell apart. The thing that upset me the most was the off handed comment she made about "knowing how I felt" how can you possibly understand what this is like for me???? Its not just the loss of control or putting my dreams on hold...I feel like with each part they remove from me I am losing a piece of my identity, of who I am. I am not this weepy mess of a person who wants to throw up everytime I have to look at a needle, I am a control freak adrenaline junkie who is at the top of her profession and who ran a marathon three months ago...its hard not to let this define who I am.
I have contacted a help line for some professional support for my anxiety and the starter pack really helps me keep track. Thank you em_24 for sharing your story and I believe the valium/midaz will definitely be helpful for my up and coming surgery. Thankyou to all of you who have taken time out of your day to read and post supportive messages, I have read each and every one and take heart in knowing that we may be miles apart but that you guys have/are going through the same journey as me. Ps: is there anyone living in Brisbane that would be keen to catch up for a coffee/chat?
I had my first proper breakdown today... I called my breast care nurse to see when my bonescan and CT was booked and she happened to mention that the radio opaque dye would be injected...I just lost it, started sobbing hysterically telling her that I just couldn't do it anymore? Ive only just started and already I'm overwhelmed at the enormity of the immediate future. To date I've put on a brave face for two blood tests, five attempted cannulations and 8 daily injections...and I have to start injections 4 times a day once my period starts in 2days time. Then Lymphocentography involves 4 injections into my breast that has already had an operation in (I can't even wear my normal bra or sleep on my tummy because of the pain), and then another couple of cannulation attempts for my sentinel node excision (done seperately to my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery). I know most people see needles as an uncomfortable necessary evil but for me, each time it takes more thought and energy than I would expend going sky diving. I thought I was in a good place mentally and emotionally but as soon as I heard about the change I just fell apart. The thing that upset me the most was the off handed comment she made about "knowing how I felt" how can you possibly understand what this is like for me???? Its not just the loss of control or putting my dreams on hold...I feel like with each part they remove from me I am losing a piece of my identity, of who I am. I am not this weepy mess of a person who wants to throw up everytime I have to look at a needle, I am a control freak adrenaline junkie who is at the top of her profession and who ran a marathon three months ago...its hard not to let this define who I am.
I have contacted a help line for some professional support for my anxiety and the starter pack really helps me keep track. Thank you em_24 for sharing your story and I believe the valium/midaz will definitely be helpful for my up and coming surgery. Thankyou to all of you who have taken time out of your day to read and post supportive messages, I have read each and every one and take heart in knowing that we may be miles apart but that you guys have/are going through the same journey as me. Ps: is there anyone living in Brisbane that would be keen to catch up for a coffee/chat?