@Bowie . We all know that feeling. The fear takes over every waking thought and in your dreams too.
I remember crying constantly as that is what I do with severe stress. So cooking tea...crying. showering crying. Someone snarly with me...burst into tears. I couldn't possibly work. I had to attend my SIL funeral who had died of endometrial cancer the day of my biopsy. I was going to speak at her funeral ..but I got there saw her coffin and just went to pieces thinking that this would be me and my children soon. I didn't do the eulogy. I did support my nieces and nephew and brother over Christmas which was 2 days later. I kept my diagnosis secret to all but my husband. The distraction was good to be honest. But the nights were awful and once home again (300km) the waiting overwhelmed me again. But I promise you once you have those results and a treatment plan it does really get a bit easier.
Your friends might not know how to support you. Knowing someone with breast cancer newly diagnosed can be confronting. What we can do though is ask for help. Reach out. Let people know you need them. Ring a friend or family or use facebook...however you do it and ask if people could if they take you out for a cuppa. Could someone come and bring a meal and stay and share. Let them know you need them and need distraction. Being always strong often means people don't realise you need them to lean on.
Also the cancer council has telephone support and has a wealth of information
http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/patient-support/We are here to listen. You can do this. You are normal. We've got your back. Kath x
