I have just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer, my husband has had a stroke, trying to run a farm, family in Melbourne, cannot see anybody, surgery next week, I feel I am falling apart. I feel all alone with nobody to talk too or help me.

Hi All, I had my surgery yesterday, and came home today. It was scary journey but at least it is all over now. I arrived at the Hospital at 8.15am, pre-admission, addmissions and then getting hooked up ready for surgery. This all happened by about 9.00am (no time to think about anything) I was back in recovery late morning. They took a wide section of the breast about 5cm deep and 8cm long and one lymph node. I will get results hopefully at next weeks appointment on the 21st. Treatment will be decided then. Options are Radiotherapy only, Radiotherapy and Chemo or both Breast removered (last resort). Feeling not too bad at the moment but still have my moments. It is now back to the waiting and that is the hardest. Ayrhavenxxx

That sound a good idea. I will have a bit of a problem with that. My next door neightbour is 3km one way and 6km the other. I might sit outside and talk to the bull which it behind the house or the get the bike and sit in the paddock watching the calves play. They are very good time waisters.sue

I’m so sorry to hear your news. One thing to add right now, you are definitely NOT alone here, there is a group of wonderfully wise women who are amazing! You can talk here about anything you want to ask or express at any time. Take comfort in being a member of this group. It will always be here for you. You can get through this. Lots of love Tinks xx

Hi @ayrhaven Isn't it the mother of all clusterf***s to be diagnosed now? The timing is terrible, but then again it always is.Breast cancer does change our lives, but I've yet to be convinced it changes us. Physically, maybe, but our core stays essentially the same. A little battered bruised, squeezed and twisted, but you can't destroy matter and I believe in the end you get pretty much what you started out with.You sound like a sensible, resilient woman. You are already shuffling through options, measuring the pros and cons. The ability to do that already puts you ahead. Yes, you may be lonely now, but I'm betting you've spent a lot of time in your own company. Rural folk do. Take it one day at a time. Don't tell anyone who doesn't need to be told right now, as you say, someone pressuring you now is not helpful. Play your own game and do what you do best. Good luck. Mxx

It is overwhelming and comforting to know people really do care and talking about my life to some people does help me. Over the past 3 1/2 years I have been tested in many ways. When I had my 4x4 bike accident 3 plus years ago, I suffered 10 cracked (nearly half of what we have in our body) and a fractured eye socket which is still being repaired, that's when my outlook on life changed. What I don't do today, I do tomorrow, it's not going away until you do it. When my husband had his stroke that also changed our lives. I became full time carer. I know I will get through this but it is hard to take in when your husband can't be with you. He is a private person and at the moment all he is saying to me is, You'll be right. My husbandwas the one with the farming background, so my learning skills have really been tested, he paid all the bills, and made the big decisions. Thankfully with friends and neighbors in Casterton I have got through it. I chose not to tell his mum and dad because they are likely to tell me to sell and the more people tell me to sell the more determined I am going to prove to them a women can run just under 3,200 acres and be full time carer. This is just a hiccup in our already complicated life.At the moment I am crying every night, I am very much a thinker and all that I am worried about at the moment is what will happen to my husband and me. Knowing people like me have and are going through this is comforting. I am not alone even if it does feel like it Thankyou As the saying is I AM STRONG, I AM INVINCIBLE AND I AM A WOMEN

All Alone | BCNA Online Network

49 Replies

Ahnn
Member
6 years ago
Congratulations @ayrhaven on making it through this major hurdle. Take it easy as you can and try not to push yourself too hard. Easier said than done. Waiting for results feels like forever but it's only next week. Best of luck for good results
ayrhaven
Member
6 years ago
Feel not too bad after surgery, except for TELSTRA giving me a hard time. Phone is not working properly. I told them to fix it today or I'll be back. (answer from them is will be fixed tomorrow) I thought I would send you ladies something that I did for pink ribbon month. This was done before I was diagnosed. My niece went through BC so I thought I would join in the activity for pink ribbon month. Now I will get involved even more if I can.
Shellshocked201
Member
6 years ago
Hi ayrhaven, welcome to this informative group of people who have been there and know exactly how you are feeling.
Some coping ideas that worked for me as my brain was always in overdrive and I couldn’t get a good night sleep.
I did a mindfulness and meditation short course, that help me keep in the moment and learnt some real good breathing techniques, yoga, lavender oil on my bed linen, massage.
With COVID 19, if you have access to the internet there may be something on line you can tap into regarding meditation, relaxation music .
Listening to any relaxation music and just concentrate on your breathing, taking deep breathes in holding for 5-10 counts and pushing it out 5-10 counts, do this for as long as you need.
I also got in contact with my GP to get something to help me sleep, I was prescribed something which helped me get some sleep, I found with sleep I was able to cope better during the day.
Can you arrange FaceTime with family and friends on a regular basis? I lived on social media during my illness as I to live on a rural property and my closet neighbour is a few kms away, and no family or friends live close by.

Most friends and family found out about my cancer via social media, except for my immediate family which was personal.
Everyone does things differently, you do what you think is best for you.

Sorry to hear about your husband, I’m not sure if you’re able to access help with your husband for a home care package from the government.
It sounds like you’re a strong woman , but it’s time to look after yourself during this time.
Do you live in a close rural community who can assist you with the farm? I have found living in a rural community people are so lovely and willing to help where they can.
I have an adult daughter with a disability, so I know how you’re feeling in regards to looking after your husband, when you really need to be putting all your energy in looking after yourself.
Lean on your GP heavily to help you get help for your husband, and for you as well, not sure if you know your neighbours well enough, to ask if they could help with your livestock and any essential farm work that is required.
Hopefully you have a good Breast care nurse who can guide you through this anxious time.
I found waiting for results are the pits, I use to keep myself so busy that I didn’t have time to think about it, I use to go for a ride around the property on my quad, like you just sit on the quad and watch the livestock, breath in the fresh air, wow I wish I had as many acres as you though.......
Ive only got 27 acres..... listen to music, sing along out loud, I didn’t have to worry about neighbours lol........

Being positive is what will get you through, you have been through so much in the past, you can get through this as well.
Keep safe during this COVID 19 pandemic, it’s a bonus being on a property during this time away from everyone.
Im here if you want to talk anytime, you can even send me a private message and we can have a chat.

You are STRONG you are WOMAN !

Sending big hugs and positive vibes your way, take care and be kind to yourself xx
Caz1
Member
6 years ago
Great news , good to hear you are ok....understand the scared bit, mines tomorrow and I’m scared and a bit sad :/
take care, big hugs
Caz x
iserbrown
Member
6 years ago

Best wishes and plenty of rest as your results will be in soon with a defined path of treatment.
Take care
ayrhaven
Member
6 years ago
Hi All, I had my surgery yesterday, and came home today. It was scary journey but at least it is all over now. I arrived at the Hospital at 8.15am, pre-admission, addmissions and then getting hooked up ready for surgery. This all happened by about 9.00am (no time to think about anything) I was back in recovery late morning. They took a wide section of the breast about 5cm deep and 8cm long and one lymph node. I will get results hopefully at next weeks appointment on the 21st. Treatment will be decided then. Options are Radiotherapy only, Radiotherapy and Chemo or both Breast removered (last resort). Feeling not too bad at the moment but still have my moments. It is now back to the waiting and that is the hardest. Ayrhavenxxx
Carrie2020
Member
6 years ago
@ayrhaven Hey just getting used to this forum but hearing you loud and clear. Its tough being in a rural setting and although i no longer have our farm ( separated 2-3years ago ) still live in a rural setting my family are in the UK and my main friends are 3 hours away or more.
I have had my surgery, but now faced with decisions of chemo, radiotherapy and hormone treatment etc etc but living so far away having animals to look after plus need to work.. it all seems impossible.
At least you have the calving over with as you say that's a big hurdle.
Today is Wednesday so must be your surgery day so thinking of you. Not sure what type of surgery you are having but hoping your recovery is quick... that's also tough when people tell you to rest and not do too much!! it didn't happen for me when you have property and work you just have to ( my surgery was 3 weeks ago back to work after a week)

Its all shit really but i take some comfort in reading posts from people that have traveled this road.
lrb_03
Member
6 years ago
It's almost the day, and I just want to wish you well
xx
Tinks
Member
6 years ago
All the best for tomorrow. Tinks xx
YellowRobin
Member
6 years ago
@ayrhaven Good luck tomorrow. Sending hugs ❤️🌸💕

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All Alone

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