Hi allI know this is a weird first post for “Newly Diagnosed”! but Im alone today, the day I got the call, and I literally just wanted to reach out to my sisters who know how I feel. It’s comforting to know you’re out there. Right now I can just say hi. I’m still numb and I can’t bring myself to write the details just yet. I will go into my story later but it’s literally only been a few hrs since I got the Big C phone call and then met with my lovely GP who stayed back late for me. The timing today was awful as my husband is currently overseas and he’s still asleep over there. I even called but he sleeps through anything!I don’t want to tell my parents yet until I know more about what my diagnosis is. They will worry themselves sick and that would make me feel even worse. It is such a shock - no cancer family history! The “coincidence” is that I just had 3 IVF cycles - last one December 2019. it’s just making me think, all those oestrogen injections.... (I know the studies say the link is inconclusive - this may just be me trying to rationalise it atm)Anyway thank you guys for humouring me - I will write more after my specialist appt. My GP got me in for tmr morning for which I’m eternally grateful. I’m glad I don’t have spend the weekend not knowing more info.This is a whole new world to me and I admire each and every one of you. xxxx

Reaching out is what this forum is all about @Bean73. Someone is always here for you. We all get it, precisely unfortunately! But you'll get through, rest assured.There are a lot of services and charities out there to ease the experience. If you have chemo there's Look Good Feel Better. And the Otis Foundation provides properties for free holidays.I got onto meditation early as a way to manage my distress and fear. It was a great help. There are so many apps. I tried a few and settled on Headspace. It has a course specifically for cancer.Sleep is an enormous problem with this diagnosis and the treatments. Headspace has a huge suite of sleep meditations, wind downs and sleep sounds. I imagine many of the others do as well. Sleeping pills can be excellent to knock you out when you are desperate. Doctors seem reluctant to hand them out, so many of us have used them once a week as a 'treat' for example. Have a chat with your GP or oncologist if you think it's going to be an ongoing issue.I hope today goes as well as possible. Hang in there and let us know how you get on. K xox

Dear Bean73I’m sorry to hear of your terrible shock today. Your GP has worked wonders to get you in to a specialist so quickly, but equally you have very little time to think. Is there anyone who can go with you? If not perhaps take a note pad and write down key things because it is normal to remember things patchily under severe stress. The helpline is great to debrief after you talk to the doctor and get support. So is this forum!Huge hugs Tinks xxx

Hi @Bean73,Stinks to be here lovely, but welcome. It's a white hot fear that runs through you when you first find out. The start is just plain awful and your brain just won't quit thinking about all the worst case scenarios. The roller coaster of emotions is indescribable to someone who hasn't felt it. Once you have more facts and information you feel somewhat more in control.Definitely seek out a Breast care nurse to help you navigate the brand new language you are about to learn.Everybody searches for "what caused it" at the beginning. Your injections probably had nothing to do with it considering how recent they were and so many of us have no family history.Rest assured, you did nothing wrong. Just plain out sucky bad luck. There is no room for guilt in this trip. Check out your insurance thoroughly. A lot of people are very surprised at just how much you can be out of pocket.I wouldn't write your studies off yet. Some of us get through this shit show relatively functional. There is nothing to say you won't be able to continue when you've got your head around this mess. At the very least it will give you some distraction.Keep talking to us lovely. We get it. It doesn't feel like it at the moment but you've got this.xoxoxoxo

If you need it, take time off. Blame it on Corvid-19 if necessary but do what you have to. But if you feel well (remarkably, some of us do) think about work as a great distraction from dwelling on things you can’t fix. Best wishes.

Thank you @kmakm ❤️That sounds like the way I would handle it in terms of letting the least possible people know!I have a med cert to take tmr off work in case I’m not up to it emotionally after my specialist appt tmr morning - but I’m here stewing over what to say my reason is for calling in sick! I certainly don’t want to tell my work the real reason at this stage. Then I’ve got my uni studies that I guess I’m going to have to defer on. It’s too early to know what treatment I’m gonna get but studying may not be the best thing with the side effects, I don’t know. It sucks, as my goal was to finish this 2nd degree before I turned 50. Thank you so much for all the information and the tip about private vs public. I actually only recently got private insurance and just figured that’d be the way to go. I will do some research. Today has been so surreal, numbing and almost like I’ve been superficially acting out my life and the necessary conversations, but being detached & not feeling it. I’m sure it will get better after the initial shock. Next my husband, parents and brother will have to go through the shock and I don’t want them to have to! Again thank you really soo much for reaching out. ❤️I feel like I’m gonna spend tonight listening to YouTube for a distraction. Not sure if I’ll get any sleep!

46 / Hi / Comfort of knowing you guys are here /(IVF link?)

22 Replies

Tinks
Member
6 years ago
Dear Bean73

I’m sorry to hear of your terrible shock today. Your GP has worked wonders to get you in to a specialist so quickly, but equally you have very little time to think. Is there anyone who can go with you? If not perhaps take a note pad and write down key things because it is normal to remember things patchily under severe stress. The helpline is great to debrief after you talk to the doctor and get support. So is this forum!

Huge hugs Tinks xxx
kmakm
Member
6 years ago
Hi @Bean73. Welcome, and congratulations on forming cohesive sentences at this stage! You're already amazing.

I didn't tell anyone outside my household what was going on until after the pathology was back on my tumour, it had been removed, a sentinel node biopsy had been performed (to see if the cancer was in my lymph nodes or not) and I'd had a second operation to get clear margins. And then I sent my husband to tell my parents!

There's no right or wrong in the shitshow. You just do you, and block out anyone who has issue with that. People are going to say a lot of weird shit to you. Take what you like and ignore the rest.

The first big decision you'll make is whether you go public or private. BC treatment can be very expensive so think carefully. We all have different experiences of both systems; again, there's no right or wrong.

Signing up to BCNA's My Journey online tool is a good thing to do. Good info clearly expressed. Stay away from US forums, their healthcare system leads to some dreadful experiences. Anything fro. Macmillan in UK is good.

If no one offers one to you, ask about a breastcare nurse. They can be a huge ally and a fount of information, comfort and a conduit to your medical team.

There's a ton of information but that's probably enough for now! Take things one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and you'll get through. This is the worst bit I promise. The biggest of hugs to you lovely, K xox

PS And you might find this amusing along the way!

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46 / Hi / Comfort of knowing you guys are here /(IVF link?)

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