I have had the best christmas with my family, we played games, watched movies, sang singstar and ate wonderful food. I got out of hospital on the day before Christmas eve after spiking a fever of 39.5 days earlier and thinking I would have to stay in for the christmas period, but after begging and promising to take my antibiotics I was let out much to my joy. So why am I feeling so blue, each evening my legs and hands tingle, my heart becomes heavy, I hyperventalte and become fidgity then the tears start. I just do not know what is wrong with me. My last Chemotherapy is tomorrow so I have many reasons to be happy but I am filled with doom and gloom. Radiation starts on January 23rd I am so nervous but know I am on the home run now. Does anyone else get these overwhelming anxieties? My husband thinks I am just tired from all the hype of Christmas and having over done things. I feel stupid for feeling so blue and crying like a baby for no obvious reason.

Hi Kathryne, Are you on any meds ie Arimidex or Tamoxifen. (Maybe not whilst you are on chemo) But all the other drugs for chemo do some "funny" things to our bodies. I am with your husband - Christmas is just such a busy time and when you are on chemo too!!!!!!! Just go with the flow for now - if the tears fall well let them. You are going through" hell" at the moment with lots of excitement of the festive season thrown in. It is nearly 7 months since my chemo finished and I am exhausted from Xmas!!!!! It does take a while for the doom and gloom to subside. It is now just on 1 year since my second diagnosis and I am now starting to feel and think a "bit normal" again. Unfortunately it all takes time. Good luck with your last chemo - it really is a great feeling when it is all finished. XLeonie

You are ok,just go with your emotions,your family will understand..I felt like I had a complete personality transplant when I had chemo.I was crying one minute and screaming the next- those drugs do funny things to your head. I think you will find that radiation isn't anywhere near as hard as chemo.It's tedious going everyday(except weekends)and you get abit tired towards the end.It's hard to have to front up again to another chemo round knowing how crook it makes you- even if it is the last one.It's not easy being bald in summer and having head gear on that makes you feel like combusting.It's not easy coming to terms with your altered body and it''s not easy realizing you've just had cancer and what might have been.Gosh,if all that's not enough to make a person cry then I don"t know what is!So cry whenever you feel like it. Good luck for tomorrow and I'm sure you'll be feeling alot happier in 3 weeks time when chemo effects wear off. Tonya xx

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Congrats on finishing your chemo that's one hell of a ride. Radiation will be easier on you. Looks like we should organise another coffee when you feel up to it. Just take one day at a time and rest rest rest. Love Sarah xx

Great to hear you had a lovely christmas with your family, but as for feeling blue, is just yet another side effect of bc, i too felt the same, i got through all the treatment and 3 months later fell in a heap, somebody just had to look at me, and i was in tears, thinking of myself as a strong person, who could never suffer fom depression, i eventually spoke to my doctor, who informed me that a very high percentage of ladies/gents with bc go through depression, he advised me to go on a low dose of anti depressants, (the prescription sat in a drawer for a month), before i decided to give it a go... The best thing i ever done, the doc said it would take about a year, and yep nearly a year to the day, i came off them, and have never felt better. 3 1/2 years after diagnosed, i am going from strength to strenght, so you will get through this, just make sure you have you time, and if it dosnet get any better, mention it to your doc. good luck with the radio, in my case apart from being really tired the last 3 weeks, it was a daudle compared to chemo. so good luck, and let us know how it goes with you. Take Care Moira

Tears and more tears | BCNA Online Network

13 Replies

Sarah_51
Member
14 years ago
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Congrats on finishing your chemo that's one hell of a ride. Radiation will be easier on you. Looks like we should organise another coffee when you feel up to it. Just take one day at a time and rest rest rest.

Love Sarah xx
TonyaM
Member
14 years ago
You are ok,just go with your emotions,your family will understand..I felt like I had a complete personality transplant when I had chemo.I was crying one minute and screaming the next- those drugs do funny things to your head. I think you will find that radiation isn't anywhere near as hard as chemo.It's tedious going everyday(except weekends)and you get abit tired towards the end.It's hard to have to front up again to another chemo round knowing how crook it makes you- even if it is the last one.It's not easy being bald in summer and having head gear on that makes you feel like combusting.It's not easy coming to terms with your altered body and it''s not easy realizing you've just had cancer and what might have been.Gosh,if all that's not enough to make a person cry then I don"t know what is!So cry whenever you feel like it. Good luck for tomorrow and I'm sure you'll be feeling alot happier in 3 weeks time when chemo effects wear off.

Tonya xx
Leonie_Moore
Member
14 years ago
Hi Kathryne, Are you on any meds ie Arimidex or Tamoxifen. (Maybe not whilst you are on chemo) But all the other drugs for chemo do some "funny" things to our bodies. I am with your husband - Christmas is just such a busy time and when you are on chemo too!!!!!!! Just go with the flow for now - if the tears fall well let them. You are going through" hell" at the moment with lots of excitement of the festive season thrown in. It is nearly 7 months since my chemo finished and I am exhausted from Xmas!!!!! It does take a while for the doom and gloom to subside. It is now just on 1 year since my second diagnosis and I am now starting to feel and think a "bit normal" again. Unfortunately it all takes time. Good luck with your last chemo - it really is a great feeling when it is all finished. XLeonie

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