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adean's avatar
adean
Member
12 years ago

Impact on our families

Hi all , I thought BC was tough , but I can say my family and I had possibly the worst 2 weeks of my life. My 20 year old daughter ended up in the Psyciatric ward, my beautiful intelligent child who showered me when I came home from hospital the one who changed my dressings , the one who told everyone what's wrong mum is not going to die! Everything for my innocent one became to much, now it's not just the BC but other things as well, but a lot of stuff about me and BC has emerged, I need to be like mum and be strong . I've now told her I hid a lot never showed my crying or weakness, but kept it to myself. The impact of things we do. My heart breaks for her but she is home now and I'm staying home with her. Taking time to re evaluate what's important I cannot cry because this emotion is so gut wrenching I don't think there are tears there. I just wanted to say watch those around you don't always be the tough warrior woman like me, sometimes it's ok to be vulnerable. Adean

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  • Lis's avatar
    Lis
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Adean You are such a beautiful person. Take care of yourself Cheers Lissy
  • adean's avatar
    adean
    Member
    12 years ago
    Thanks you lovely friends, your kind words are appreciated this week it's just been my daughter and me we cleaned out her room and found some hilarious books and drawings she did in prep , we laughed that hard we cried, my other daughter arrived home to think we had lost our brains but she to joined in and we were all soon cackling ourselves. My husband said its so good to hear her laugh, we must be making some progress. A positive is that she has been accepted to go to Africa next year as a volunteer in the orphanage also with uni mate, she is looking forward to that,I'm sure I will worry but I'm excited for her, it's always hard to let go. Love to you all adean xx
  • adean's avatar
    adean
    Member
    12 years ago
    Thanks you lovely friends, your kind words are appreciated this week it's just been my daughter and me we cleaned out her room and found some hilarious books and drawings she did in prep , we laughed that hard we cried, my other daughter arrived home to think we had lost our brains but she to joined in and we were all soon cackling ourselves. My husband said its so good to hear her laugh, we must be making some progress. A positive is that she has been accepted to go to Africa next year as a volunteer in the orphanage also with uni mate, she is looking forward to that,I'm sure I will worry but I'm excited for her, it's always hard to let go. Love to you all adean xx
  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    12 years ago

    My heart breaks for you beautiful Adean.  The last time I saw you life was so different.  We were all so happy and heading off to happiness.  Our children are part of us so if we are who we are then they get some of that.  You now have each other to share your strengths between.  No one to take the whole load - just share.  I shield my daughters and sisters from this disease.  If I can do everything then I must be well.  I will continue to do this as long as I can.  Every so often it hits me in the face.  I am sending you hugs, joy and anything you need lovely Adean because you deserve good.  Hug your daughter as hard as you can - hugs are such healers. XLeonie

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    12 years ago

    So sorry to hear about your daughter.She sounds like a beautiful soul and with you by her side,I'm sure she'll be ok.We all take turns at being vulnerable at some stage in our lives but with family love and support,we get strong again. I'm guilty of being brave in front of my kids and my mum- don't know why we do it-must be a "mother"thing.Our hearts are in the right place as we are hoping to spare them of too much grief.Blame cancer but not yourself.Hope all goes well for both of you in the coming weeks.Big hug,Tonya xx

  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    Adean,I feel terribly sad reading this.You are so right though,that those around us kind of get left to deal with their own emotions as everyone is trying to look after the one with 'CANCER!!' Deanne posted on her blog a similar thing a while ago now,about the impact on family members.I am really sorry to hear about your daughter.At least now that you know all this,you can slowly share with her and care for her.Our girls are strong,andI feel sure that you will all come out the other end of this stronger and wiser:) You are so right about being vulnerable.When I was diagnosed,my husband was overseas.My precious,PRECIOUS daughter,took on the role of carer in every sense of the word.She cared for me,and she cared for our 5 foster children.She never cried,and the only time that I saw a glimpse of tears,was when I would cry and she would comfort me.Her tears would well up,but she would blink them away.We have become so much closer since my BC,and I notice that we talk and share a lot more than we ever did.I will be forever grateful to her .Take care of your daughter Adean,and you will get through this.Thinking of you.xoxRobyn