Feeling Flat..

I am married with a family and yet felt like that myself a couple of weeks back  - the old being lonely in a crowd bit - not sure how or if I I've really climbed out of it as been somewhat manically moving around visiting people and consuming too much chocolate so figure am not on top of things as much as I'd like to pretend.Am aware of it however which is probably good .Been a bit of a mouse on a treadmill much of the year with 3 major ops and radiotherapy and think have run out of puff and just plain tired.Plus yes it has been a stressful and worrying time waiting for results and trying to understand treatment etc etc Your post has helped me think why I feel like this and a further push to take it easy and slow down.Cabin fever also contributes to my mood as winter cold has really seeped into my soul at this time of the year. 

I think how you feel is a combo of many things and it's ok to be flat  - even those without bc do esp at this time of the year -allow yourself thinking time , reach out if you need a chat including here , turn on the radio , put on some great music - I need a bit of Beachboys at this time of the year - thank god for Youtube  , watch a feelgood movie , read a nice book , have a little retail therapy or  maybe a foot massage  - little steps and gradually you'll pull out of this and life will go back into gear. Exercise is a mood elevator am told - maybe swimming in a heated pool ? Plan something you want to buy/ do eg a holiday so you have something to look forward to and work towards . Above all , be gentle on yourself , what you're feeling is normal - it will pass. 

Hiya@LMK74 I know how you feel I'm single as well and no none else around me has been through this so they all seem to think it's just an op you'll be right you're tuff so I've turned to some tv series to take my mind  of thinking, Vikings was great and I just finished orphan black season 4 , I just got my date today and I'm going in on the 30th August for a mx and sentinel node and a diep reconstruction, it's the coming home and trying to get people to look after me that's stressing me out but I know I will get through it and so will you jenny66 x

All the best with surgery @LMK74 and wish I was in Brisbane to support you xx

@Hendrix, I get it. I'm also single. Loneliness is my middle name lol. I have very little support and even that is an understatement. I been pottering in the garden to take my mind of it as depression has hit hard. Surgery next  week and going alone and scared. Try doing something you enjoy or something that is relaxing.
All the best.

What a shocking feeling being lonely when there are others around you. The others don't get it. You know how it is, they mean well but don't stimulate conversation. 
It will pass!  Take time to wallow and move along to something that will give you satisfaction. As simple as a cup of tea or a tipple, a bit of a walk, colouring in. Check out @InkPetal in creative corner. She has some fantastic drawings. I find doing some baking relaxing as it reminds me of teenage school days. 
Be kind to yourself and take care xx 

I was single first time around. My son was 13. I'm not too friendly when I am under pressure and I don't readily accept help. Being single was just fine; I knew no one was going to let me down if I didn't rely on them

This time the son has moved out and I have a partner who lives 100km away. Close enough, thanks. He's been great, but the people who have been most helpful are the friendships forged in fire. I was in my early 40s first BC and few of my contemporaries had any sort of disease. It was hard going. 

Now I'm an old hand and find myself supporting others. It's weird and sometimes a little uncomfortable. If I was me meeting me a decade ago I would have told me to fuck off and leave me alone. Did that make any sort of sense? Never mind.

It can be a lonely road, I think, like water, we all find our own levels.

Hey Tia, I think its really normal, what I found was it just didnt matter having people around me which I didn't, not alot of support.Thing is even if they were it just wasn't of any comfort because the truth is going through this is so isolating where you really do feel like you're on your own. So I think what helps is, talking to people who really get it! like here, it has been such a help for me. The other is if youre up to it, doing the little things that you enjoy doing, little pampering things. Sometimes I found too, it was actually healthy to just let it be when I was down and flat...because you come back out of it again rather than shift or move. It's not something you can shake off as you know, so maybe a diary writing down thoughts to get them out. I sometimes like to colour, or listen to music and even write Poetry again after many years. It really is the toughest thing having people around yet feeling alone...all the more reason to nurture you! I didnt have a partner at first diagnosis but in some ways was better LOL didnt have someone else I had to think about. 2nd time in 2015 I was in a new relationship of 6 months so was hard but we grew through it. So hang in there and acknowledge what youre going through, its alot!!! Hugs Melinda xo