I was single first time around. My son was 13. I'm not too friendly when I am under pressure and I don't readily accept help. Being single was just fine; I knew no one was going to let me down if I didn't rely on them
This time the son has moved out and I have a partner who lives 100km away. Close enough, thanks. He's been great, but the people who have been most helpful are the friendships forged in fire. I was in my early 40s first BC and few of my contemporaries had any sort of disease. It was hard going.
Now I'm an old hand and find myself supporting others. It's weird and sometimes a little uncomfortable. If I was me meeting me a decade ago I would have told me to fuck off and leave me alone. Did that make any sort of sense? Never mind.
It can be a lonely road, I think, like water, we all find our own levels.