New to BCNA

I, like @kmakm am over the 50 divide but still have kids at school.  On one hand, I'm young - on the other, I'm not (and I certainly don't feel it with the joint pains).  It's hard because the issues are different but still the same.

@Emfitz Welcome to the best support group EVER!! We are all ages here as cancer doesnt discriminate but the good thing is, that you will not find more loving, helpful people than you will on this forum & we will always be here for you. My journey has been short & so much easier than yours - 2 surgeries, 3 weeks of rad. I am older than you, have no kids BUT I am a South Aussie girl so maybe we will meet at a BCNA event or another function held in Adelaide. 
I am not involved in any other support groups & this in the only forum/social media outlet I am a part of & it does the job for me. I only have a few people who even know of my cancer so I dont have many to share with either. i hope you find some young ears to help you along the way but all of us here will hug you whenever you need it!! Take care xx 

@"Beryl C."  :*  <3  :)

kmakm - 'love youse all!' Why? Because everyone on this forum 'gets it!' and knows the experience of having their live turned upside down.

@youngdogmum Not at all in any way to compare, but sometimes finding the right support group/environment is a challenge.

When I went to the LGFB workshop I was one of just two women in the room who looked young/ish. Everyone else was clearly considerably older. A woman, also with primary school kids, and I sat next to each other and at the end she invited me to join her in a number of support groups she was involved in. They were all for under 50s. I explained that I was 51 and (thank you good genetics!) she expressed surprise.

There's this huge divide in BC at the age of 50. I understand it from the medical point of view, but I think the social lines that were clear a generation or two ago, are considerably blurred now. So many women have their kids in their late 30s and often in their early 40s. An over 50s support group is often populated by retired women with adult children. Most 50 somethings I know have kids still at school and are themselves at work. And a few of us still have kids at primary school. (Shout out to @Romla here for being a rare species!)

Younger women have some different issues, fertility and for the single women, body image in navigating finding and commencing new relationships. The latter being not confined to this age group of course, but statisically more likely.

I must admit to sometimes feeling envious of the young women of So Brave having the opportunity to have the full body makeup. I totally understand that this neglected part of the BC community needs more attention, it's a marvellous and worthy cause. But there's this little part of me that says at 52 I'm too young to be consigned to the other side of this emotionally arbitrary divide!

It's impossible to be all things to all people. This forum is a good place to break down the barriers that age can put up. You're drawn to people because of the shared issues, humour, compassion, rather than anything else.

I feel that there is more in a BC diagnosis that unites than divides. I started my own support group. 10 women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s. I appreciate the experience, struggles and perspective of each and every one of them, and learn from them all. We're all at different stages of treatment. We all have a wide variety of diagnoses but we all have breast cancer. And that's enough of a uniting cause for me.

All said in total respect of everyone's personal perspectives and differing feelings and viewpoints. Diff'rent strokes and all that. Love youse all! K xox  <3

Hi @youngdogmum I live on Gold Coast & a young friend is starting s younger woman group for bc.  I’m not sure if she’s on here but you can find Carla Joy on fb also as “cancer Unplugged”. We have a group meets at Southport cancer council
on first Tuesday each month also on fb “cancer support sisters” who have some great speakers each month and a coffee meet on the third Tuesday each month.  Check out the Facebook pages.  I volunteer with s few groups on the GC who do makeover/pamper days. Check out on fb Beauties Feeling Fabulous”. & Lotus Living Organically for your True Unique Self.  We have the next pamper day st Nerang Bicentennial hall on Monday June 2 at 9:30am. Msg me if you want any more info. Hugs.  X Sandra. 

@youngdogmum 

Hi!  perhaps, if you haven't seen it already, check out this post

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/20970/exercise-groups#latest

@Sandramj has put up information on groups in the Gold Coast area - you may find some benefit from one of those - especially a pampering day or maybe the exercise group - have a read through the post

Take care

Hi @Emfitz
Im unfortunately 10 years your junior and no children to boss around/manage, but it does happen to women this young. Feels like we’re the only ones yes, but it does. I’d say I’m the youngest active member of the forum right now, but there’s quite a few ladies who were diagnosed in their 30’s who post, including a few others recently diagnosed.

The hardest thing I’ve found is that no one has time for me- everyone is busy with their jobs/young families, perhaps that’s what you’re finding too. Whereas older women tend to have semi-retired friends etc who may have more time for them (that’s just an assumption so no one bite my head off!) 
I have a friend in another city diagnosed a week before me with triple negative and she’s 30; another friend I’ve met at chemo diagnosed a week after me and she’s 26. 

Something I found helpful was to go to a generic young persons cancer support network; my breast nurse found one for me. No one else with BC was there but two other young ladies with cancer who just “get it”. Maybe ask if there’s something similar in Adelaide. 

Best wishes to you.

Hi and welcome.

Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet. 
 
Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/navigating-the-online-community-formerly-the-what-and-how-thread

Breast Care Nurses

https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx ;

My Journey online tool and other resources. 

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/

BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258

If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays.  

Other useful links

How to understand your pathology reports

https://www.cancer.org/treatment/understanding-your-diagnosis/tests/understanding-your-pathology-report/breast-pathology/breast-cancer-pathology

And if thinking about reconstruction, or even just wondering about it,  we also have a private group

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/1-choosing-breast-reconstruction

There's usually someone to chat with here and no question too silly.
My sons were older teenagers when diagnosed and to be honest I felt needed me more than when younger,  as they were struggling with their transition to manhood. I did have a family history, having lost a sister to breast cancer so my fear was very real to me and my siblings. I think it's  hard for us all and most of us feel very much alone, not wanting to burden others with our thoughts and always putting on the brave face. On here you express that fear. ..with people who totally get it.
Kath x

Dear @Emfitz ,

from jennyss in Western NSW