Feeling a little lost

Dear @ilovewhenitrains

You can drive yourself completely up the wall with what ifs. Best to stop. Worrying about one thing at a time is quite enough right now, preferably things that have happened rather than things that only might happen. If you are not sure about reconstruction, then a delay is a good thing, gives you more time to think about how you feel
post surgery and what you really want. Getting through chemo is a big achievement, many find actual surgery easier by comparison. It’s worth trying to get some time to stop
the world spinning and maybe to get some guidance in dealing with the emotional side of cancer. Everyone concentrates on treating your body, for obvious reasons, but your emotions and feelings are hugely affected by both the diagnosis and treatment and some professional
counselling can really help. It’s important and often overlooked. Your GP can assist with a referral. 

When you wake up from surgery, you’ll have completed the lion’s share of your treatment. You’ll have some adjustments to make but life is full of them. Give yourself a pat on the back, celebrate even. Life is precious, too precious to waste any of it in what ifs. Best wishes. 

Hi,I’m sorry about your bc diagnosis but glad you’ve found this network. You are in the thick of it, the dark tunnel where you can barely see a light just yet. It is just so scary  and you are are having the hardest treatment first. Let me say that every bc decision you have to make is an awful one! Some are just too hard to make until you’ve gone further through the treatments. Be guided by what your medical team recommends, do your research and listen to your gut. Although triple negative bc is a worry,it responds well to chemo. I had eostrogen +ve cancer back in 2003 when I was 47. I was horrified to lose a breast so opted for lumpectomy, full node clearance and radiation. It came back in the same spot 7 yrs later so had to have a mastectomy and chemo.- no recon and Tamoxifen for 4yrs.That was 12yrs ago and I’ve been fine-  bc caught early enough and the majority of women live a long life. The recovery for a mastectomy is not too bad physically- you may be left with numbness and a tight sensation.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it, being lopsided has its drawbacks and it can be quite an emotional time at first.You can always think about reconstruction down the track as it can all be abit overwhelming to have to decide now. I recommend listening to the podcasts by Dr Charlotte Tottman on this network-“What you don’t know about breast cancer until you do” She’s a psychologist who got breast cancer herself. You are not alone- many of us have been through this crap bc journey. Big hug xx

Thank you @Afraser and @TonyaM for your kind words and support. 

Dear @ilovewhenitrains,

from jennyss in Western NSW

Hi @ilovewhenitrains. Just to share my experience, I was diagnosed Triple Positive in Nov 21 which resulted in a mastectomy of my right breast, all happened very quickly.  I have just finished 12 weeks of Taxol and continue Herceptin infusions every three weeks. I have listened to Charlotte Tottmans podcasts, more than once and I have found them very supportive and informative, I actually think without having listened to them I wouldn't be in the head space I am currently in.  I have been to see my Reconstructive Surgeon twice, he has set out a 4 stage plan for me to digest at my own pace and for when I'm ready and may even go back and discuss again.  So I guess what I'm trying to offer as advice from my experience and what has helped me, is using the tools on this site, talking to your doctors, reading other peoples stories and advice.  Go with your gut feelings, ask those questions that you feel too reluctant to ask Doctors, nurses, anyone as it can be intimidating at times, but just do it and take control, its your body and your life and it starts to build a new sense of confidence you didn't know you had.  I hope this helps in some way. Take care.

Hi there
” Feeling a little lost” after a BC diagnosis is perfectly normal.
You have come to the right place in this forum - we all “ get it” and no question is ever too trivial or silly and you can vent away till the cows come home!
I never cried to much in my life as when I was diagnosed.
But it WILL get better.
I decided to start a journal and write down my feelings plus medical stuff and milestones.
I was reading back over it the other day and liked this entry “ Got  back from my week down the south coast and realised I hadn’t cried for a whole week”. That was a holiday I treated myself to at the end of my radiotherapy ( 4 months from diagnosis).
I ended up having a double mastectomy ( skin sparing) with delayed DIEP flap surgery.
I am now 5 months post that surgery and 18 months post diagnosis.
I have made some adjustments to my life but am pretty happy with my “new normal.”
Prognosis for breast cancer is good compared with other cancers so in the end you can’t let the “ what ifs” rule your life.
I had a couple of session with a psychologist specialising  in cancer related stress early on and that was helpful .
I also found the podcast listed above in the “announcements” by Dr Charlotte Tottman excellent .
Take care.🌺

Thank you all, as odd as it sounds, it’s nice to hear from others that have been through the same/similar experience - I appreciate you sharing it with me.

Love your post name!
There's a helluva lot going on physically and emotionally!
Great advice on offer, please wear this forum and website out searching for info, when you are ready! 
A visit with a Psychologist will help put your thoughts and steps in a semblance of order that helps.
I was told if you are starting to feel overwhelmed pat yourself on both legs and then arms, saying this is me.....it brought me into now and washed the anxiousness away!

There's a great website with regard to reconstruction and also a list of what to pack for Hospital.   Us forum users contributed to formulating the list
https://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/

Also this link
http://knittedknockersaustralia.com/

Lots of info available
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23810/triple-negative/p1

Take care and best wishes 

Hi @ilovewhenitrains your thoughts sound very familiar! I wanted to know exactly what to expect too.