Returning to work

Ooh, I love that.

My new line I decided today when people ask me is .... " I am as well as can be expected and making progress"  The responses have been quite different.

Thankyou Inkpetal. Actually I read that page and have started to do a few things ...like pacing myself...and sitting down for things. ..like food prep for cooking. My Mum did this a lot with chronic arthritis and every time I do it now it makes ne think of her and how she lived with fatigue daily. ..but still coped....and how we didn't  really appreciate it either.

primek said:

My Dr thinks it is all just about mental health ... They just don't  get it. Chemo over so what's the issue?

... the guilt of looking after me is compounded  by my thoughts people just think I am making it up.
...in fact gained lots of weight on chemo...so don't  look sick. I wore makeup throughout treatment so always had a healthy glow. I guess it's like a hidden disability.

All these points. I feel this post so much! "Yes! Exactly! I know!" through the whole thing.

People don't seem to understand that you never fully recover, from immune system to bone strength and little things that hang around and just become these permanent fixtures - like fatigue. I mean, some women spend years in pain after their mastectomies but it's like people have a switch in their brain that goes to labeling your condition as [cancer] or [healthy] but nothing in between. 

Honestly, "But you look so healthy" has been my second most hated thing to hear next to "You'll be fine". 

It wasn't a head cold, it was cancer treatment and it really is like people struggle to grasp it. Yeah, I've gone up just under 2 dress sizes myself despite doing all the exercise my body would allow and a calorie controlled diet. My GP and oncologist tell me it's really common thing to happen. I think people just haven't adjusted from the horror of up through the 90s when chemo reduced people to skeletal shadows of themselves. I feel like making up a card to hand people who just don't get it so I don't have to explain that it isn't 1999. This idea 'chemo is chemo' and the same for everyone (even though there are extremes of being virtually unaffected to having to put a complete pause on life as you knew it) really annoys me too.

Three weeks after is game! It took me that long to have only almost recovered from a round! I'm sitting here in the middle of week 3 after and struggling to walk because my feet are so swollen. My oncologist told me that after the last one it would take me at least 6 weeks to feel 80% normal. You did exactly the right thing for you. You recover. Eff'm.


I'm sorry I don't have any tips for fatigue management. There's a page on the website with some advice though.

• BCNA Website Fatigue page.

I hear you people think that when you finish active treatment that you should be back to normal. I really struggled for a while feeling I had to tell people I was well when I was still struggling. The fatigue was hard to cope with, I tried to exercise but lacked motivation. I finally started to get back on track and then had to have surgery on my knee and back to doing very little as difficult to walk. I have gone back to my counsellor, and I keep putting one foot in front of the other and try  not to put pressure on myself.

Hi Kath,
Gee, 3 weeks is nothing in terms of recovering from chemo! It does take time (they say at least the time that you were undergoing treatment, although for me I think it took a bit longer!) and you are wise to stick to your instincts on this. I remember my surgeon saying that they usually give people 6 months off work but I was undergoing treatment for 7 so that was not enough for me.

It is a very individual thing and I think it helps to negotiate a part time return if you can. I am very interested to hear if anyone else has any ideas on how to help others realise what fatigue is really like. I found that like you say, if you look ok people just don't understand unless they have experienced it too.

Exercise and eating well are the two things that helped me to get over the fatigue the best. With the exercise I think it helped me to do it daily even if just for very short times at first (just a 20 minute walk, but every day). The main thing is to listen to your body and take things at your own pace. Try not to let the pressure from others get to you. Fatigue is a very valid side effect of treatment, even if others don't really get this. Hope someone has some brilliant suggestions about educating others! 

Deanne xxx