@Belleindy The initial BC diagnosis is a doozy. Our whole being goes into shock. I worked in robot mode for quite a while. The first time I completely lost it was when I found out the Onco had lied to me. I was with the surgeon at the time and he copped the lot. I don't regret it though as he said some rather unkind things along the lines of 'what do I expect as a public patient'. Lose it when you need to and remember we are always here for you to rant to your hearts content. Going for a drive and screaming seems to help. Personally, I just went out into the middle of the street and screamed. No one even checked on me, makes me wonder if they had come to expect something nutty from my house. Hang in there. I was at a loss right up until my first chemo session. Half an hour later, I pulled up my big girl panties and got on with it. I still had my moments and this forum was a huge help for me.
