It's hard. Not surprisingly, your diagnosis tends to crowd other things from your mind. Give up googling as a start though! As you have discovered, it rarely does much more than fuel your imagination. Keeping busy at something (work, gardening, clearing cupboards, a hobby) can help. I found that remembering that stress helps absolutely nothing made it slightly easier not to go there. I'm not a very patient person but patience is a virtue in this game - there's a lot of waiting, a lot of sucking and seeing, a lot of uncertainties. Patience and calm are to things to try for - we all mostly fail, at least we can't do them all the time, but it's still worth the practice. Keep your eye on the end game (cancer free) rather than on the process. Best wishes.