Not a good day today. I had a lumpectomy on Monday and went back to see the surgeon today only to find out that one of the margins was not great enough so am now scheduled for another surgery on the 5th January. Was so hoping that at least this part of the treatment was over as I have already had 6 months of chemo. Still have to have radiation as well but thought the worst of the treatment would be done. I just want my life back - I am so sick of the constant doctors appointments and it always feels like one step forward 10 steps back again. So not a very Merry Christmas for me. Sorry I know I am feeling sorry for myself but sometimes it just gets too much.

Yep, sometimes it does feel like too much. Most of us have felt that way at some time or another, especially when something extra comes along. You are very much allowed to feel sorry for yourself and sometimes letting that emotion out on here really helps. Hope your next surgery gives a better result and also that you don't have to wait too long for it. Sending hugs. Deanne xxx

Hi Suzy - moan away that is what we are here for to read your venting and help you through! Yes it is a so and so but hey they are being diligent and making sure every skerrick is gone, or at least that is what the plan is and the finish off treatment ensures that is the case! I do hope that you do have a good Christmas knowing that you are on your way to those words we all long to hear, you are all clear!Take care! Sending you a virtual hug xx

SuzyG, unfortunately I know how you feel, i've finished almost 6 months of chemo & didn't get clear margins, i have just had my second lumpectomy and now waiting to find out if that operation was successful. Still have radiation and up to 10 years of hormonal treatment. Yes it's totally overwhelming. I've found exercise to be the only thing that helps me cope, i've had two lumpectomies in the space of one week but somehow still she managed to go for a walk.All the best & sorry that your going through this.

Hi @SuzyG - no need to ever apologise for feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone who has been through this knows it is a case of "baby steps" and willing ourselves to get over the next hurdle. It is about ticking off the treatment/surgery items on your bc cancer list. I totally get where you are coming from - I had a lumpectomy in 2003 and when I went back to see my surgeon there weren't clear margins so I had to have a partial mastectomy with auxilliary node clearance. It can be so overwhelming when you feel like this is never going to end and that 2017 was really going to be the beginning of a new year - emotionally and from a cancer perspective.Take time to process all of it - cry, scream, yell, vent all you need. As difficult as it is, be Scarlett O'Hara and think about your surgery on the 4th January. For now, focus on the festive season with your family and friends. Merry Christmas and best wishes to you xxx

Hi Suzy, I feel your frustration at going back for more surgery. My closest margin was 3mm, because nodes were clear surgeon didn't go back in. Now each new lump leaves me thinking, I wonder if that was too close. Believe me, the worst of your treatment IS over. If you've done 6 months of chemo, the hard yards are done, it all gets easier after that. Well done for persevering this far. Maybe over the Christmas break, you could just take some time out? No doctors visits, no appointments, no treatment. . . . maybe plan some looking after you time? You deserve it <3

Wondering if this will ever be over

70 Replies

SuzyG
Member
9 years ago
Bakdom also hope that you get a good result this second time with the lumpectomy. Please let us know what happens.
SuzyG
Member
9 years ago
Thanks for the kind words everyone they are much appreciated. I have decided to query the decision about further surgery as I am not happy about it at all. I only spoke to a registrar yesterday not the actual surgeon so will see how I go. Bakdom it seems that we have a lot in common I also have to have the hormone treatment and goodness knows what sort of side affects there will be with that. Tracey62 no break for me - I have to go and see the oncologist on the 28th to talk about hormone treatment I guess. So sick of all of it.
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Best wishes Suzy. Ditto for all the ladies have said. Just sending a big hug. Xx Cath
adean
Member
9 years ago
You will look back one day like me 4 years down the track and you will think where did that go
primek
Member
9 years ago
Finish line is in site. You are strong enough and you can do this. Frustrating for you and fed up I know you are. But so close...so close. Let the tears flow, then wipe them off and carry on. You got this. Kath x
Tracey62
Member
9 years ago
Hi Suzy, I feel your frustration at going back for more surgery. My closest margin was 3mm, because nodes were clear surgeon didn't go back in. Now each new lump leaves me thinking, I wonder if that was too close. Believe me, the worst of your treatment IS over. If you've done 6 months of chemo, the hard yards are done, it all gets easier after that. Well done for persevering this far. Maybe over the Christmas break, you could just take some time out? No doctors visits, no appointments, no treatment. . . . maybe plan some looking after you time? You deserve it <3
Share
Member
9 years ago
Hi @SuzyG - no need to ever apologise for feeling sorry for yourself.
Everyone who has been through this knows it is a case of "baby steps" and willing ourselves to get over the next hurdle. It is about ticking off the treatment/surgery items on your bc cancer list.
I totally get where you are coming from - I had a lumpectomy in 2003 and when I went back to see my surgeon there weren't clear margins so I had to have a partial mastectomy with auxilliary node clearance.
It can be so overwhelming when you feel like this is never going to end and that 2017 was really going to be the beginning of a new year - emotionally and from a cancer perspective.
Take time to process all of it - cry, scream, yell, vent all you need.
As difficult as it is, be Scarlett O'Hara and think about your surgery on the 4th January. For now, focus on the festive season with your family and friends.
Merry Christmas and best wishes to you xxx
Bakdom
Member
9 years ago
SuzyG, unfortunately I know how you feel, i've finished almost 6 months of chemo & didn't get clear margins, i have just had my second lumpectomy and now waiting to find out if that operation was successful. Still have radiation and up to 10 years of hormonal treatment. Yes it's totally overwhelming. I've found exercise to be the only thing that helps me cope, i've had two lumpectomies in the space of one week but somehow still she managed to go for a walk.
All the best & sorry that your going through this.
iserbrown
Member
9 years ago
Hi Suzy - moan away that is what we are here for to read your venting and help you through! Yes it is a so and so but hey they are being diligent and making sure every skerrick is gone, or at least that is what the plan is and the finish off treatment ensures that is the case! I do hope that you do have a good Christmas knowing that you are on your way to those words we all long to hear, you are all clear!

Take care! Sending you a virtual hug xx
Deanne
Member
9 years ago
Yep, sometimes it does feel like too much. Most of us have felt that way at some time or another, especially when something extra comes along. You are very much allowed to feel sorry for yourself and sometimes letting that emotion out on here really helps. Hope your next surgery gives a better result and also that you don't have to wait too long for it. Sending hugs. Deanne xxx

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Wondering if this will ever be over

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