Forum Discussion
Nadi
10 years agoMember
Tiredness. How hard should we push ourselves? What does "listen to your body" really mean?
I know I have a few things going on in my life. I am a mother of three who still live at home, I look after elderly infirm parents and my Dad has been in hospital; my heart levels aren't great thanks to targeted therapy; I am not sleeping well thanks to the hot flushes I got from chemo putting me into menopause; I have injured both my knees from pushing my mum in a wheelchair and am on pain meds; I have to have another day surgery to correct a flipped port; yesterday I had my 22nd radiation session with 8 more to go; and I still have to have another 12 rounds of Herceptin to go. I had none of this before BC. So yeah, I get it - that seems like a fair few things to keep me busy, much like other women on this forum, but no doubt people go through much worse.
But despite knowing that this is a bit of a full plate I am struggling with how to feel about my tiredness. Everyone tells me being tired is normal when going through radiation, especially after you have had a rough time with chemo. I am also strangely teary, not sad or depressed at all, just teary - will cry at the drop of a hat at just about anything, at movies, tv commercials, my son's uni graduation, a soppy birthday card, baby chickens, a kitten in a tree - you name it, it will bring on the water works just for a minute or two then I am fine, I get over it and then am back to normal. My GP says that too is probably because I am tired.
I am also working not quite full time but 6 hours a day. I love work. I love the people and the problem solving and being productive. I feel so rotten in the mornings and feel like I can stay in bed all day, it's a struggle to put one foot in front of the other, but then I just push through it and eventually get to work. By mid morning I come good, then I have radiation in the afternoon, visit my parents if I can, do shopping and cook/buy dinner. But it feels like such a roller coaster. And I feel like if I don't go to work I am giving in to the tiredness, that I am being defeated. Resting, as I do on the weekends, doesn't make me less tired, so what's the point in staying in bed and not going to work? I am definitely not the potter-around-the-house kind of person, so that option is out as well.
It just makes me wonder, when we are going through breast cancer we are often told to listen to our bodies, but what does that really mean? I have said this to many women on here, but don't know what it means for me. I feel as if I listen to my body that I may never get out of bed again. Is it important to push through? How do we know when to push through or when to rest? Will I be this tired forever?
Sorry for the rant, maybe it's just because I am tired.
Nadine
16 Replies
- suzieqMember
Well done Nadi. A great outcome! Suex
- Cook65Member
Good for you! I'm glad the changes have helped. Karen xox
- primekMember
Fantastic news that just a few changes have made such a huge difference. Great stuff looking after you and allowing time for healing both mentally and physically.
- JulesyMember
Well done. We often look and act like we can handle it all that people forget to offer their help or we don't take up the offer because we think we can manage or think that we should be able to manage. So well done you..a lesson learned and you have probably made some people happy by allowing them to help. It makes them feel useful and appreciated. Thanks for sharing and keep taking good care of yourself x
- NadiMember
I wanted to thank you all for the support you showed with your comments. There was some wonderful advice here which I really took on board. The biggest changes I made were to reduce my work hours by half and to call on other members of my family, including some that are interstate, to help with my parents. Since I did this I have just rested more which has really helped. It made such a difference hearing this advice from women who have been where I am, and who understand what having breast cancer is like. I am also know cooking in bulk - what a difference just this one change has made!
- JohnannMember
SUZIEQ, I couldn't have said it better myself. xxx
- Fiona_BCNAMember
Hi Nadine,
WOW! I am in awe of what you manage to do in your daily life. Fatigue and tiredness can be overwhelming and very frustrating. It can affect so many and often all aspects of your life. In your case it sounds like although you won’t let it stop you doing anything it is affecting you emotionally.
Peter Mac have a resource called “Practical ways of dealing with cancer related fatigue” which you may or may not find useful.
I do agree with others in this discussion, in that it is important you look after yourself first of all. You do so many things for other people which is incredible but if you aren’t looking after yourself you will no longer be able to help anyone out. Make time each day to do something you find enjoyable and relaxing, that could be reading a book, watching an episode of your favorite TV show, going for a walk, listening to music or just lying on the grass in the sun. Don’t let other things take away from that time.
I also found it interesting to learn that daily energy patterns are somewhat determined by brain structure and genetics. This is why some people get a burst of energy first thing in the morning and some people are at their best at the end of the day. Research suggests it can be tough to change at which time of the day you have the most energy so instead, become aware of your own circadian rhythms. Then schedule demanding activities when your energy levels are typically at their peak.
Look after yourself you are a superhuman!
Kind Regards,
Fiona (Team BCNA)
Battle weary....you are battle weary.
Even the strongest of steel can give into fatigue....you have been through so much and still are going through it! You are a Champion and should feel proud of that fact...
We are honoured to know you...and all of the other ladies who are on here...
I think the point you reach (well I've found , anyway) is when you actually cannot get up, lift your head even...you feel physically sick....that's when you need to rest....I think the mind plays an important part of our recovery...If you get to the edge of the bed...you're half way there....but 'thinking' you can doesn't always work either....we are walking on a swords edge...it's hard to keep positive energy flowing and that's OK as long as it's not dark all the time....
I am finding it astounding that some women are able to keep working full time, keep their exercise regime up....It just goes to show how different this can be for any of us...even with the same diagnosis and treatments....however it is important to remind yourself you are not like everyone else and not to beat yourself up about it.....Keep doing what works for you...
Wishing you all the best Nadi
Xx
- suzieqMember
Tired, yes I remember those days of chemo and radiation. I think you are incredible! I am nearly 4 years post diagnosis and I can tell you I still get terribly tired. Treatment really knocked me about. At about your stage I was very teary too. If a stranger in the street was kind to me I burst into tears - it was a very emotional time. I marvel at the women who fly through chemo and rads as if it were just a blip on their time-line and then go and run a marathon or something. Reading those uplifting stories however made me feel lazy and inadequate and "bound to croak it" but then I reconciled that with "hey, I'm surviving this - isn't that what it is all about?" In other words we are all very different. I did not push myself. My energy and vitality came back slowly and today I feel healthy and strong. I concentrated on the things I knew would make ME feel good and I pampered myself often. You can't tell someone else how to navigate this journey, you can only support them through what helps them. You will find your way. Go by your gut instinct. And if you have to make demands on those closest to you and ask for help then do it. Generally, people around us don't know how to act and if you can articulate what you want you are actually helping them help you. Good luck Suex
- JulesyMember
Tiredness!!! I have never been so constantly tired in all my life as I have been since having secondary breat cancer to the bones. It is a state of exhaustion that overwhelms me at times and the best way I have found to manage it is to have a couple of rest breaks each day in between my daily activities. Either a nap or just restful time outs. If I do this I can enjoy my days and my activities and not feel that this cancer has deprived me of the pleasures I enjoy. I guess I am saying I have learnt to pace myself to not allow my body to get too tired because if I do it takes too many days to recover and on those days I do feel deprived because I spend those days doing nothing but rest and sleep!