Post first chemo

@Marketta I've struggled with chemo but I agree, it's the mental and emotional stuff that's really showing, now.

Should have added on the other thread that benchmarking yourself against others may not be helpful. I worked through chemo for the simple reason that I could do so quite easily. Many others equally simply can't - fatigue, chemo brain, nausea or other side effects means they can't do it. It's got nothing to do with attitude or strength, and it's random. We all crave normal - you'll
hear quite a bit about building the new normal. The new normal isn't necessarily a bad thing - it can be very good - but it takes time and is easier once you have got the treatment regime a bit sorted out. While I maintained a "normal" life during active treatment, I still had to sort out my new normal afterwards. It will come, one step at a time. 

@Marketta Life with chemo IS doable. Most everyone here will testify to that. I have four kids and I have continued to adjudicate fights, administer panadol, solve 'I'm hungry' and decide who's faking illness to get out of school on a daily basis...!

I have struggled emotionally & mentally a great deal, and continue to do so. We are not just body parts that can be separated from our minds, especially with such an intimate part of our femininity. How are your support services? Have you got a Breast Care nurse that you like? Mine is wonderful and I always feel better after talking to her. I asked my oncologist for a recommendation to a counsellor and got a good one, community funded, so it doesn't cost much. Your GP is a good resource too. Just tell them you are struggling emotionally and would like to do domething about it. There are support groups, and the BCNA helpline 1800 500 258 is great. Don't suffer in silence, reach out.

You can do this! Rolling with the punches is hard at first. And things will forever be different, you will be different (and boy, do I struggle with this). But we humans are adaptable creatures. You'll get there.

Does anyone else feel the mental struggle and emotional struggle more than physical?
being told I’m high risk and basically feel as though I should be wrapped in cotton wool but actually feel ok? I want to hear stories where life went on and they didn’t feel different! That life with chemo is do able and I’m ok

@junita55 Glad to hear you're not nauseous. Care with the pulses if you're windy. I could only eat bites of things (spoon of hommous was good or a tablespoon of muesli) on first round.  Second round hasn't affected my appetite at all but that's probably better nausea drugs.  Carbs tend to keep the tummy calm for me.  They reckon go easy on the dairy as it can go straight through you but I also found a little bit of cheese helped if I had that burning empty stomach feeling.  Get on top of the ulcers - you don't want them.  I haven't had them (yet) but I've been using a baby toothbrush and Biotene mouthwash.  You've probably already said but my brain retains nothing - where are you having your treatment?  I have my 3rd AC at Calvary North Adelaide on 22nd.

I also had my first last Wednesday. I was good Thursday Friday I gather from the steroids. Yesterday wasn't to bad but had bad constipation. I rang up the after hours and got permission to take some mild laxative that I had from when I had breast surgery. Was able to get a bit out of me but now I have wind and nothing.  I walked this morning and we went shopping to get some pulses and fresh foods and I needed gloves, more soap, hand sanitiser just some preventive cleanliness stuff. Mouth has a couple ulcers tonight and I can certainly feel that I have something toxic in my body.  I am home till the 20th when I will head back to Adelaide for second treatment. Then fly home again two days later while still on steroids. Glad to hear it gets easier. I don't feel nauseous and haven't had to use maxalon. I'm eating brown rice vegetables soups eggs asparagus custard and yogurt and have soaked some beans and lentils for tomorrow. Trying just 5-6 small meals. It's certainly a learning curve. Happy to and would like to keep sharing experiences as it's a bit overwhelming and I'm fairly isolated in the outback. So hope you don't mind if I follow this post. I can add anything I find works and hopefully we can learn of each other. Best wishes all.
Junita 

Hi @Estherch, this was how it was for me too and I struggled with not having as much energy as I normally did!! But I found getting out and walking each morning helped (sort of like I had achieved something as crazy as it sounds). I found the first week hard with nausea and fatigue but the two weeks following AC I was able to work part-time and resume normal household chores. I got into a cycle of what I could do and expect after the first session. I was taking three pramin a day with AC and chewing ginger to help with the nausea but thankfully when I started weekly paclitaxol the nausea went, I still feel fatigued but only three more treatments to go!! Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time

Much the same pattern for me.  I was physically and emotionally low going into first AC so I don't think it helped.  Crashed and burned on the evening of Day 2 (Friday).  Couldn't lay down because I felt so sick.  Couldn't sit up because it felt like my bones wouldn't support me.  Maxalon did nothing - might as well have been taking Smarties.  I did ring the hospital on the Sunday and ask if I could take more Maxalon and was told that I could.  What I should have asked for was a script for something stronger but I didn't think I could do that it being the weekend.  I now know better.  Got something better anti-nausea drugs and reflux drugs on the afternoon of Day 5 and spent most of the next 36 hours sleeping.  Felt alive again by Day 10.  I then commenced walking 5 km every day in the hope that improved fitness would help me tolerate the chemo better.
I've since had the second AC and, with the better anti-nausea drugs have been able to cope far better.  Day 4 & 5 still not brilliant as everyone says but by Day 6 I was walking again and by Day 7 felt almost normal.  Normal, of course, being a relative term.

Dear Estherch, Sorry; this is 'normal' . I'm sure other network members will reply, and you will hear that everyone reacts differently to their chemo. Many people find there is a pattern that emerges for them - keep a chemo diary. You might get your worst days for some of your side effects, and then things pick up. Yuck and scary for you to feel exhausted and emotional when you are usually bouncy. Many ladies recommend the BCNA hotline to talk about concerns. Some things you should get medical help for straight away. Have you got lots of info from your clinic?  Do you have a breast care nurse you can talk to? Posting on this network is really good to share concerns and get lots of virtual hugs! Hope you feel better soon, and best wishes from jennyss

I had my AC chemo on a Thursday, felt ok Friday & Saturday, then rubbish for the next few days when the steroids ran out.  My treatment was every 3 weeks, each time I had 1 bad week, 2 reasonably normal weeks.

 I did have to learn to slow down, like you I’m usually energetic and not good at sitting around so got frustrated with being tired.  I only had nausea on the first night which helped. I also ended up with oral thrush each time so hopefully you were advised to rinse your mouth, I was told with a salt mix, to try and avoid mouth problems.  

Hopefully you will pick up soon, you do begin to feel human again.