Over halfway and need to regather my thoughts!

Hi and well done doing 4 chemo cycles.  I guess you have only 2 more.  I found they got harder as I went along, but really all you have to do is turn up and have the chemo.  And endure the side effects,  Good luck and I hope it passes quickly.  You have come so far, just keep going.

 Fortunately most people find radiation much easier.  I have now finished both chemo and radiation.  My biggest side effect is tiredness which can last quite a while I am told.  I too am mentally tired, I suspect this is just part of the overall tiredness.  

It's interesting wondering how others will find you after you go through this treatment.   I feel I have been changed by it.  On the positive, I think my priorities have changed for the better, I am more patient about little things, realizing they are just trivial.  On the other hand I seem to be less inhibited and say what I really think more and I seem to shock people occasionally with what I say.  I have less need to please people perhaps? I am tougher in some ways.

I have less energy so I have to ration it.

 I am now retired but when I worked I worked very hard and it was very important to me.  I regret working so hard now, I realise I should have focused more on my family, my health and hobbies, and less on my job.

You sound younger than me.  I think the changes are exciting and if people can't cope with them, too bad.  You have been through a life altering experience, of course you have changed as a person.

It's great you have a growing bucket list.  Having cancer brings home to us a simple truth that we are mortal and our time alive is short.  You want to make the best of your time.  Wonderful.  It's one of the positives of cancer.

It's tough going at present but you are almost through chemo, so keep going.  My counsellor gave me an article about research that showed being positive does not improve outcomes and being not positive does not make for worse outcomes, so it's ok to feel down sometimes, it won't affect the success of your treatment.  Good luck.  Karen 

I too am planning and thinking about a future beyond breadt cancer treatment. I havex2 more chemos to go...weekly taxol and 9 montbs of Herceptin . I haven't  worked through treatment but pmanning on returning part time initially. My biggest concern presently is stamina. ..just an active day exhausts me presently...and it is about a 1/4 what I used to do. But recovery is in sight. Hope the next part of your treatment goes well.

Well done so far!  A holiday is a really good thing to plan for when treatment is over, but I found that more long term things took ...well, longer!

Losing my taste buds (the Taxol range is horrible for some things) knocked me off alcohol (tasted awful) and that is a good thing that I have kept up - have a glass occasionally now that I can taste it again, but only occasionally. Wasn't too tempted by other sugars, but that one didn't help my weight (which I have largely kept off, having lost some weight during treatment).

I worked right through treatment, found it helped a lot, but afterwards decided that long work days, and sometimes weekends, wasn't the best and took up a new job with 4 days only - ah, the joy of 3 day weekends. Cancer is good for almost nothing, but did help me get fractionally more realistic about what was productive for my time (at 68).

I took out a gym membership a bit later (do intend to keep the weight off! ) and have joined a local choir. All things I "didn't have time for" before. I have also got back into film, long lost except for long overseas flights! And now I have a grandson (there are lots of things to be thankful for) to spend delightful time with too.

So get over your treatment first, then start thinking about how your precious time is best spent. We should all have one thing every day that gives us pleasure.

Hi yes this trip does change how you look at some things. I have made the decision that all though I like the money and will miss it I have planned to reduce my hours at work and take up more volunteer work supporting others with bc. Change is always hard but I have struggled with so much change all at once and the stress that work now gives me is not worth it..November will be her before you know it, I celebrated with a trip to Hawaii, sending you a hug xx