Margarita,
Welcome.
You will have to learn to separate your husband's reaction to the treatment of your cancer to what actually needs to be done. That sounds harsh and I am certain it will not be easy but if you posted here you are getting strong so everyone is here to help each other and learn from each other.
I second Kezmusk post - it will help if you understand how much of a potential benefit for your individual cancer recurrence risk does each part of the treatment offer you.
You have had a rough start on antihormonals. If you can not tolerate Tamoxifen your options are to have
- ovaries out - bilateral oophorectomy OR
- ovarian suppression - Goserelin
plus a Aromatase inhibitor
the two left after Aromasin are Arimidex ( anastrazole ) and Femara ( Letrozole)
I feel that you need some encouragement when it comes to the next step - would it help you if you asked your oncologist what would she do if she were in your position. Many patients feel uneasy about bringing that up - but I have found that most doctors welcome that conversation - they will tell you what there would do - meaning that is their best opinion at that point in time.