Forum Discussion

Deanne's avatar
Deanne
Member
12 years ago

Not sinking in

Hi! This is my first post. I am 9 weeks into this journey that no one ever wants to take and have had surgery (mastectomy) and first two rounds of Chemo. I have read a lot of posts that have helped me get through things so far and think this is such a great way to connect with others. It is great to read about others that are further along the treatment path and helps to know that you do get there eventually. I am wondering how long it takes for it to feel real as I still have trouble accepting that I really am going through this (despite a missing boob and no hair!) and that I really did/do have breast cancer. It feels like I am watching someone else go through it and I have to keep remembering that it is really happening and that my life is forever changed by this. Will I ever get used to it and stop having a little shock each time I think about it? :) Deanne

4 Replies

  • Nice to 'meet' you Bel. I have read a lot of your posts as we are the same age I think and you are just a few months further along with things than me. Have you finished treatment now? I've found many of your posts have answered the questions or worries I've had so far. I think you have a great attitude and I like your advice about being grateful that things are not a whole heap worse and not to think too much! Also thanks for all the info on where to get good support, family and friends can only do so much! Hope you can get on with enjoying life soon. I am trying to spend some time planning a holiday for when I get through treatment and feel okay again. It helps with the frustration of feeling okay in between Chemo but not really being able to get out and about as normal. On the bright side, I am enjoying the break from hectic pace of life, reading and catching up with movies etc. I think it's important to get what positives you can from this experience! All the best for your life post treatment. xx Deanne
  • I still cant believe it happened, because I wasnt on any medication, felt very well, and was enjoying my new life with my husband here in Launceston, having moved to 5 months before.  Amazing how it can just show up and lucky I found it in time.  

    I didnt understand all the stuff I was told for quite some time, well after Chemo finished for me.  It sank in, what style is triple negative, and the questions started then.  Now and then I think about what it was like before this happened, and decided its better to be grateful Im here and just think about one day at a time instead.  You do get a massive amount of time to think about it lovely, its  just how you manage those thoughts that count......... I chose to smile now, and not to think too much..

    . I have had massive support via BCNA, The Northern Cancer Support Centre,  regional nurses visiting my home, counselling a couple of times, "The Journey Beyond" seminar, "Look Good Feel Better" make-up morning, talking to other ladies with Cancer experience, meetings via Cancer Council, "The My Journey Kit", really, absolute strangers were my support the whole way and I thank them all because they became as important as family.  xx Bel

  • Hello Mich Thanks for your thoughts. I guess it's just that moment when you wake each day (or during the night) when reality hits and you think 'Oh yeah I have this alternative life thing happening'. My breast nurse did say that it takes time to come to term with the whole situation and that the speed of my treatment means I have not had that time yet to let it sink in. I found out it was definitely cancer on the Monday after Mother's Day and had a mastectomy on the Thursday and started Chemo 3 weeks after that. The business of the treatment and recovery schedule has kind of taken over my life but I do feel as though I'm settling with it more now. It's helpful to be able 'talk' about it with someone who has been through similar experiences. Thank-you. xo Deanne
  • Hi Cheryl Thanks for the advice. I am lucky to not have had too many side effects from the Chemo so far so have been able to keep my life as normal as possible. I am managing to work a little (we have our own business, so I can do stuff at home when I feel like it). I also have great support from family and friends which is helping me stay positive. Just the same it does feel like my life just ran off the rails 9 weeks ago and looking ahead I know that it will always be a bit different in the future. Some of this will be for the better though as I now have a very big incentive to put my needs and health a bit higher on the priority list. :) Deanne