Newly diagnosed/bilateral mastectomy

Hi Bernadette

Welcome and sorry! I am a 34yr old that was diagnosed in June this year. You are right it is so very scary and daunting in the beginning, I struggled to digest all the information as well so you are not alone there. Although I do not have children of my own, so can only imagine how it must feel for you right now, I do have my 7 yr old niece every weekend. We were also very open and honest with her and she did pretty well with it mostly. When I went through chemo the ice capping didn't work for me and she got a little upset at seeing me with no hair which was a bit too confronting for her. My advice is to gear up with a few head scarves or something just in case! 

I had all the same side effects as NB plus a few more unfortunately but it is very different for everyone and it really depends on which chemo drugs they give you. Week 1/2 on each cycle is usually not so fun so ensure you have plenty of pain killers on hand and take them early so you can keep feeling as good as possible!

Stay in touch with the ladies on here, they can offer you huge amounts of support as you progress through each stage of treatment as different things come up along the way.

May I suggest that you might want to have some ideas on things your kids might be able to do to help you during your treatment, simple things like helping you hang washing etc, as from my experience the worst thing for others is the 'feeling helpless' and unable to do anything for you to make you better! Giving them little jobs to do can make them feel like they have done something and hence eases their anxiety and yours.

Good luck with it, stay strong and you will get there! Hugs xxxx

Hi Bernadette,

Sorry to hear you have joined the club no one wants to join.  I had just turned 42yo when diagnosed in October 2014.  At the time my elder son had just turned 6 the week prior and my younger son was 2 1//2.  Because of lymph node involvement I started treatment with chemo before surgery (not a great sign).  I had 6 chemo treatments over 15 weeks.  To be honest I didn't struggle too much although it was tough going for the last couple at treatments.  I kept working on non-treatment weeks and generally felt able to participate in my children's activities for much of the time.  Everyone is so different but I viewed chemo as a process that threw up problems along the way which were to be solved.  I cruised through the first treatment, had severe constipation and reflux after the second which was managed from then on, and after later treatments I experienced very runny eyes, muscle pain and stiffness, and night sweats and insomnia due to the menopause symptoms brought on by chemo.  There were some tough times but on the whole there were many others when I was able to say I felt pretty normal.  Due to cold capping I kept most of my hair.  Nausea wasn't a problem for me with the great meds available but I know not everyone is so lucky on this front.  Emotionally things get easier and it is important to remember that most people with early stage breast cancer have a healthy future ahead of them once they have kicked its butt via all this unpleasant treatment.  As my cancer turned out to be genetic I have had further surgeries since (preventative) completing  active treatment in July 2015 and will complete my reconstructions in Feb 2016.  I am now really starting to feel normal, though a new kind of normal. The fear of recurrence lingers in the background but is fading.

Good luck with your journey.