Newbi

At least you will have one arm to get yourself out of bed etc. It was teally difficult having a bilateral and recon...especially as I hurt my back trying to sit up without any support. Sounds like a good plan. Kath

I think I've come through chemo in a state of denial ----------- if thats possible with the side effects!!

The impending surgery makes it all real as Annie says "surgery is the start of the physical change" 

I'm having the right breast removed and ancillary lymph nodes removal. Then later in the year I'll have the left one removed. The surgeon said because of the chemo, diabetes and lymph nodes it would be better to do one at a time so healing and comfort would be better.

All the best with your journey 

Caroline

I am also new. I have a mammogram that came back clear in December 2015 and 4 weeks later was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at 48. I am having 8 rounds of chemo (just had round 4 so half way) then a mastectomy. I have elected to have both breasts removed as I didn't want to have it come back in my good breast and go through all this again and I thought it will be better for a even reconstruction. They have also just told me I have to have radiotherapy after the mastectomy so getting the full cancer experience.

I also am worried about the surgery. I can deal with the chemo but surgery is the start of the physical change. I have decided to get a friend that is a photographer to take some nice photos of my breasts before they are gone. They are quite good ones if I do say so myself and I would like to have a memory of them. Even if it is just for me to see in years to come. I am also thinking about doing a plaster cast of them. I know it might sound crazy but I think it will be well worth it. Have heard of other women doing it and they all are so glad they did.

I think you just have to keep an eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything we are going through is for the end result which is being here for a very long time.

I never thought being a DD I would every have fake boobs but that is whats going to happen and I will look at all the positives that will bring. I try not to look an any of the negatives.

Good luck with your journey

Annie

We are good at putting our self second. I think a big part of this journey is learning to nurture ourselves 1st and foremost. Kath x

Aww thanks everyone even though I have family and friends there are times I feel lonely and a little lost.

Reading through some of the stories and comments I had a light bulb moment "Yes someone gets me"

I also have feelings of selfishness when ever I put myself first. I'm slowly learning this is a time in my life when I do have to put me first.

What a journey, but one I will finish better than when I started !!

It will take some getting used to after surgery. It has taken 6mths for me to come to terms with it.

I just said to myself my breast has failed me with this nasty cancer and its going to go, cancer and all! Its a positive step toward being cancer free and that's got to be good. All the best with your op. XXXX

I understand exactly where you're coming from. The diagnosis was the first part of my journey where I faulted not because of what I felt about me but more about how I felt I was going to tell my parents, who had already lost one child that I was going to have to fight to live. Then I decided that I was going to fight this thing with everything I could and there was no way my parents would bury another child or my children would be left without a mother. Once I made that decision I actively chose to remain positive and throughout my 4 rounds of AC and 5 rounds of Taxol that's exactly what I did. Then all of a sudden I was faced with the surgery and there was that downside again. I had surgery 5 days ago (unilateral and ancillary clearance) and apart from having to ask for help with some things it's actually not as bad as I thought. The loss of the breast isn't really the issue for me at this stage it's the loss of independence. I guess my main point is that often we seem to stress over how certain stages will impact us and how we'll cope but we are all far stronger than we realise, and when we have those low days this forum helps us to know it's not just us and there is life after BC Best of luck with your treatment and even when you don't feel like posting its worth reading other people's posts to keep you going because often someone else has already asked your question. Xx

Hi, that was beautiful said Kath.

kindest regards

Kim

Welcome to this group of people who all share aspects of your experience, or even have similar.  It is hard to be brave and smile all of the time, and occasionally it does become too much for us at the strangest times when the tears break through out of nowhere.  I am currently in hospital in Melbourne fasting with my fifth operation due in three hours, and I am hitting a bit of a wall.

You have made it through all of those months of chemo, so you must be a very brave and strong woman.  Everyone is entitled to have bad stages after they have brave for so long.  In a way, you have run a marathon, endured all of the miles and miles of pain, and now are coming into the Olympic Stadium with the finish line in sight.  Look on this operation as the final plunge across the finish line where it will all be over.  

We are here on this site to support you.  The best of luck.

I believe it's  perfectly normal what you are feeling. I cried a lot prior mastectomy and still crying during chemo. It's  like that old post natal crying...just sheer mental exhaustion. I know once the surgery was done I felt a whole lot better that the cancer was gone. You don't  have to pretend to be strong. You have the right to grieve over your losses...your pre cancer life, your pre cancer health and the loss of your breasts. It's  all real and worthy of many tears. We are with you,  but let those that love you in too. You don't  have to pretend to them it doesn't  matter..it does. Take care and best of luck with surgery. Don't forget to reclaim those curves too. Kath x