mood swings

Hello all Today is a particularly low day for me: HUGE difference in my demeanor from yesterday and the day before, when I was doing "nanna duty". I didn't want to go out, but had to, to fill a few repeat prescriptions and get a couple of things at the supermarket. When those tasks were done, & I was walking back to my car, it started when I couldn't remember where I parked. I found myself yelling at myself for being "so stupid" because I had forgotten! Then cursing the blazing sun and heat (I truly hate any temperature over 26, & that was before BC, but I didn't get this angry about it!) I got home to find a blue balloon, swinging in the air from my letterbox, along with every other house in my immediate area - a real estate initiative apparently! I was so angry and irrational about it, I took it inside and continued yelling. I then actually called said real estate agent, suggesting he research before employing such desperate selling tactics, because some of us ( meaning myself) simply rent property; we don't own it! O, and I was just angry at this stage-I didn't yell at him. Perhaps this is a good time to mention that I live alone, and now have no intention of ever having a partner again. I have been reading about all you other ladies who refer to their "poor partners" as being on the receiving end of similar rants and bouts of anger. No one could put up with me-that's a fact! Sorry if I'm raving, but sharing seems to help. Feel free to chastise! I am actually seeing a psychologist for counselling, & yesterday she reckoned that I have been "on automatic" for some time, not having really dealt with all the emotional stuff as a result of my cancer. She's clearly right. Tomorrow is my oncology appointment. Have just had 2weeks of radiation to the secondary spot in my lower back. I have been taking 35mg of endep for 2 years, initially to help with pain. I can categorically say that they no longer help with that, & they're certainly not helping with my depression, sorry! I just hope I don't bite the oncologist's head off tomorrow-I am quite over it all. It's nice to be able to share on here,& I apologise for having a vent. My problems are still nowhere near those of some of you. Love to you all: will let you know result of I hope a productive chat at my appointment tomorrow. Kathleen