Hi all, Just been diagnosed a few weeks ago, still in shock to be honest. I'm 29 and have only been married for 8 weeks. Last thing I was expecting but they say the 1st year of marriage is the most difficult, didnt think it would mean this though. I'm really fortunate that I have a wonderful husband and friends. Does anyone feel though that they have to put on a brave face for everyone though? I hate seeing my loved one upset so I've just brushed it off and make a joke of things but inside I'm angry, pissed off and frightened. I feel like a little kid and want to jump up and and have a temper tantram and stomp my feet, whislt shouting "it's not fair". Then I give myself a little pep talk and I feel like I can take on the world. :) I have my Lumpectomy op on Tues and I will radio and chemotherepy. I'm also going through the process of harvesting embryos as I would like to have children in the future. Has anyone else went through this process? Love to hear from you. x

Hi Gillian, It looks like Adean has already given you a welcome and I am glad you found your way to the online network. I hope you will get many members sharing their experience. I thought, if you haven't got a copy of the My Journey Kit then you should order from our website - http://www.bcna.org.au/my-journey-kit it is a free information resource for those who are newly diagnosed. And regarding Fertility we also have a booklet that you can download -- You will find some helpful information here: http://www.bcna.org.au/fact-sheets Good luck and shout if you need a hand finding your way around. ~Daina

Hi Gillian. Good luck with your op on Tuesday. Mine is booked for Monday next week. I agree with your emotional experiences so far.. I felt guilty about being angry and sad that it happened to me then happy to find test results showing no additional cancer cells. What a rollercoster and all within a week. I am a bit of a control freak so to have this happen and be unable to do anything to stop it is hard to handle but because of all the amazing support from nurses, doctors and my husband I am learning to let go and take advise from the professionals. I still find it hard to accept that this is not just some small lump that can be whipped out and then forget about it and to put myself in to the category of 'breast cancer survivor' -(hopefully)..but slowly I accept that I am among one of the special breed and start to look at this as a positive experience and treat it as a lesson to appreciate life and family. Sucks that it takes something like this to get me thinking along those lines but until you experience the shock of being told you have cancer in real life it just isn't real...thanks for listening and I look forward to hearing good news post op.

Hey GillianWelcome to you, my luvly but so sorry you have to be here in such a precious time of your married life. Oooooooh yeah you guys are going to be tested but if you have gone down the road of marriage then you have already made the commitment for better or worse and there is a lot worse out there than a BC diagnosis believe it or not. It will test you let alone test your marriage but after BC you will be able to take on anything life throws your way that is for sure. It made me in to a better person, someone who cared for others and had feelings and was strong and committed and honest and found my heart which has been the best thing to come from this whole BC journey. I don't have a problem saying journey cause that is what it is, smooth, bumpy or rough road, we make it and come out the other side better for it.It won't be easy and isn't easy for any of us but you have lots of love and support around you so that will help you thru.I still put on a brave face and I am 1 1/2 years down the track from my original diagnosis so it just becomes a way of life. If you want to scream find a secluded spot grab a pillow and scream, yell all the prefanaties (spelling) you like, kick and buck and give that pillow everything it deserves and then just move on. Take it hour by hour, don't try day by day as that is toooo hard but hour by hour you will be able to manage. You will understand what I mean as time goes on.I am so glad Daina has told you about the information available to you thru BCNA, it is a fantastic group to be a part of and I am sure you will appreciate the love, support, advice, place to vent scream yell and whatever else is necessary, you can do it all here. We don't judge cause we fully understand cause we have been down a road you are able to travel.If you have any questions you need to ask then just ask away and if you are lucky enough you will be able to connect with someone who is going on a similar journey to you so you can be there for each other but if not there is lots of us pink sisters that will help you every day.Wishing you love, patience, understanding and all those things this BC diagnosis makes us pluck out of the deep dark crevices of the body we live in each day.Lots of love, Mich xoxoxo

Lumpectomy OP On Tues | BCNA Online Network

13 Replies

Anonymous
12 years ago
That's so great to hear Gilliann! Take it easy and make the most of having your Mum and Dad around. I don't think anyone can give you that unconditional love and support like a parent :-)
adean
Member
12 years ago
My mum came and looked after me she is 79 and had breast cancer at 35, don't they always make the best comfort food, and oh the cakes. All the best adean
NaturalBel
Member
12 years ago
My parents flew here to Tasmania, as we had only moved here 5 months before and only knew 2 couples. Unfortunately, they were my husbands friends wives, and they didnt help me at all. So thank goodness for my oldies, who have enough health issues of their own. Even at 47 I am still their baby! hahaha. Mum had to help me in the shower at first, funny. They stayed for 2 hits of chemo, and I loved it. My husband just went to work as per usual, and they did eveything for us. Food shops, washed my car, housework, the cooking. I was very sorry to see them leave. I understand, and my oldies are 72 yo ! Bel
gilliann
Member
12 years ago
Hi Daina

Thanks it went really well.

My Mum and Dad are staying with me at the moment so I'm being well looked after.

Theres no one who can quite look after you like your Mum, whatever age you are. :)
gilliann
Member
12 years ago
Hi Louise

Good luck with your op tomorrow.

I had mine on Tuesday and it went well. Feel a little bit tender but overall not too bad.

It must be a physiological because I feel better knowing that the cancer has been cut out even though it has never caused me any physical pain.

Like you I'm a bit of a control freak too and I'm always looking for answers.

There must be a logical explanation as to why this has happened. I find it so frustrating that the only one I have been given is your just unlucky. When I first met with my surgeon I was like "right whip them off, I have no need for them, I want this disease out my body!"

After talking with him though I was immediatley put at ease and I need to trust that the professionals know what there doing. I have to stop myself from overloading on information on the internet, thats when I feel down.

I feel when we survive this we will be bullet proof. I will no longer feel anxious or get upset about trivial matters.

Cancer hates positive people. :)

Good luck!!!
Anonymous
12 years ago
Hi Gillian, I hope your surgery went well on Tuesday and you are being looked after by those around you :-) Take it easy! Cheers, Daina
NaturalBel
Member
12 years ago
How you feel, what you tell people, and how you act, will be personal and different for everyone. Glad to hear you have a sense of humour. It is never a good time to have cancer, but thank goodness it wasnt during the Wedding time, you got to enjoy all of that. I have just been myself most of the time, but depends on who Im talking to and what day it is. I used this website to be blunt and honest about how I felt, so I could be more cheerful around people when possible. There is no wrong or right way to re-act, but we all feel just like you do. You will already be in recovery by the time you get my message and I hope the surgery side goes as smoothly as mine did. I have had my 6 hits of chemo and most of the way through the Radiation so happy to support you with any of those questions. The"My Journey Kit" info is so valuable, and dont forget to ring medical staff for the best answers. Plenty of support, and I have used every single type! Best not to sit around and worry on your own when there are so many of us out here who can help! (smiling) Welcome to the rollercoaster ride ! xx Bel
NaturalBel
Member
12 years ago
How you feel, what you tell people, and how you act, will be personal and different for everyone. Glad to hear you have a sense of humour. It is never a good time to have cancer, but thank goodness it wasnt during the Wedding time, you got to enjoy all of that. I have just been myself most of the time, but depends on who Im talking to and what day it is. I used this website to be blunt and honest about how I felt, so I could be more cheerful around people when possible. There is no wrong or right way to re-act, but we all feel just like you do. You will already be in recovery by the time you get my message and I hope the surgery side goes as smoothly as mine did. I have had my 6 hits of chemo and most of the way through the Radiation so happy to support you with any of those questions. The"My Journey Kit" info is so valuable, and dont forget to ring medical staff for the best answers. Plenty of support, and I have used every single type! Best not to sit around and worry on your own when there are so many of us out here who can help! (smiling) Welcome to the rollercoaster ride ! xx Bel
Mich_x
Member
12 years ago
Hey GillianWelcome to you, my luvly but so sorry you have to be here in such a precious time of your married life. Oooooooh yeah you guys are going to be tested but if you have gone down the road of marriage then you have already made the commitment for better or worse and there is a lot worse out there than a BC diagnosis believe it or not. It will test you let alone test your marriage but after BC you will be able to take on anything life throws your way that is for sure. It made me in to a better person, someone who cared for others and had feelings and was strong and committed and honest and found my heart which has been the best thing to come from this whole BC journey. I don't have a problem saying journey cause that is what it is, smooth, bumpy or rough road, we make it and come out the other side better for it.It won't be easy and isn't easy for any of us but you have lots of love and support around you so that will help you thru.I still put on a brave face and I am 1 1/2 years down the track from my original diagnosis so it just becomes a way of life. If you want to scream find a secluded spot grab a pillow and scream, yell all the prefanaties (spelling) you like, kick and buck and give that pillow everything it deserves and then just move on. Take it hour by hour, don't try day by day as that is toooo hard but hour by hour you will be able to manage. You will understand what I mean as time goes on.I am so glad Daina has told you about the information available to you thru BCNA, it is a fantastic group to be a part of and I am sure you will appreciate the love, support, advice, place to vent scream yell and whatever else is necessary, you can do it all here. We don't judge cause we fully understand cause we have been down a road you are able to travel.If you have any questions you need to ask then just ask away and if you are lucky enough you will be able to connect with someone who is going on a similar journey to you so you can be there for each other but if not there is lots of us pink sisters that will help you every day.Wishing you love, patience, understanding and all those things this BC diagnosis makes us pluck out of the deep dark crevices of the body we live in each day.Lots of love, Mich xoxoxo
Mich_x
Member
12 years ago
Hey GillianWelcome to you, my luvly but so sorry you have to be here in such a precious time of your married life. Oooooooh yeah you guys are going to be tested but if you have gone down the road of marriage then you have already made the commitment for better or worse and there is a lot worse out there than a BC diagnosis believe it or not. It will test you let alone test your marriage but after BC you will be able to take on anything life throws your way that is for sure. It made me in to a better person, someone who cared for others and had feelings and was strong and committed and honest and found my heart which has been the best thing to come from this whole BC journey. I don't have a problem saying journey cause that is what it is, smooth, bumpy or rough road, we make it and come out the other side better for it.It won't be easy and isn't easy for any of us but you have lots of love and support around you so that will help you thru.I still put on a brave face and I am 1 1/2 years down the track from my original diagnosis so it just becomes a way of life. If you want to scream find a secluded spot grab a pillow and scream, yell all the prefanaties (spelling) you like, kick and buck and give that pillow everything it deserves and then just move on. Take it hour by hour, don't try day by day as that is toooo hard but hour by hour you will be able to manage. You will understand what I mean as time goes on.I am so glad Daina has told you about the information available to you thru BCNA, it is a fantastic group to be a part of and I am sure you will appreciate the love, support, advice, place to vent scream yell and whatever else is necessary, you can do it all here. We don't judge cause we fully understand cause we have been down a road you are able to travel.If you have any questions you need to ask then just ask away and if you are lucky enough you will be able to connect with someone who is going on a similar journey to you so you can be there for each other but if not there is lots of us pink sisters that will help you every day.Wishing you love, patience, understanding and all those things this BC diagnosis makes us pluck out of the deep dark crevices of the body we live in each day.Lots of love, Mich xoxoxo