How you feel, what you tell people, and how you act, will be personal and different for everyone. Glad to hear you have a sense of humour. It is never a good time to have cancer, but thank goodness it wasnt during the Wedding time, you got to enjoy all of that. I have just been myself most of the time, but depends on who Im talking to and what day it is. I used this website to be blunt and honest about how I felt, so I could be more cheerful around people when possible. There is no wrong or right way to re-act, but we all feel just like you do. You will already be in recovery by the time you get my message and I hope the surgery side goes as smoothly as mine did. I have had my 6 hits of chemo and most of the way through the Radiation so happy to support you with any of those questions. The"My Journey Kit" info is so valuable, and dont forget to ring medical staff for the best answers. Plenty of support, and I have used every single type! Best not to sit around and worry on your own when there are so many of us out here who can help! (smiling) Welcome to the rollercoaster ride ! xx Bel