Lonely

Thanks Mich xxx. I am in the Ipswich area in Queensland. I have looked at support groups to go to, but I have found all of them seem to be during the week and during the day. I work during the week, and have been lucky enough to be able to go to work. The guys at work have been pretty supportive. Some of them offer me a hug when I need one. Funny, I actually finally feel comfortable enough to accept it from some of them.

I am counting down the days until my last chemo session. I'm still nervous with each one because I react to the drugs. Nothing major, but they always have to stop the drip and wait for a bit and restart it slowly. Last time they had to give me Phenergan which obviously made me drowsy. I wanted to go back to work afterwards, but the session ended up taking pretty much all day. I get the PICC line taken out straight after the last session too. Woohoo!!!!

I know surgery is coming up to, but I have made the decision to not think about it until I know the date of it. I want a couple of weeks or three or four to just relax my mind and enjoy myself before stressing about any decision. I've pretty much made my decision to have a double mastectomy. I don't want to have to go through all of this again. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Thank for the love and the big hug xxx

 

HI Sami, 

I understand been divorced since 99 but diagnosed last year 12 and going thru treatment now. had surgery in October. I miss the person when I am alone and need someone to hold me and cuddle me. 

Yes I have my children but it isnt the same as a partner. 

remember to come and chat or private message one of us if your needing someone to chat with. 

Soldier Crab

 

HI Sami, 

I understand been divorced since 99 but diagnosed last year 12 and going thru treatment now. had surgery in October. I miss the person when I am alone and need someone to hold me and cuddle me. 

Yes I have my children but it isnt the same as a partner. 

remember to come and chat or private message one of us if your needing someone to chat with. 

Soldier Crab

 

Hi Sami,

 I too am so pleased that you have found us,  welcome to the network.  You are now a very special member of a very special group of women.  Its not  a group that women necessarily aspire to join however when we join we find the support love and caring that we need so much.

You have done very well to have completed 5 of 6 chemo 's.  As you do well with you public face as many of us do be kind to yourself in private and let the tears flow as required.  Don't be afraid to tell friends how you feel.  Some will be there for you and some will not .  Some people just can't  deal with the pain but you will find someone who will be more than willing to liten and comfort .  You also have this network where you are free to share all.

I was diagnosed in 2000 and had a mastectomy and tram flap reconstruction.  I was lucky to have a supportive husband and family but still there were times where I felt very much alone and would have really liked a network like this to connect with.  My mother did not survive her breast cancer not did a number of other woman in my family so in that sense I am on of the luck ones here 12 years post diagnosis.  However it was when I was diagnosed and going through my treatment that I missed my mum the most. I wanted her to hold me and to talk to me about her experience.  In essence I guess I just wanted to be comforted by "mummy".  I found it useful at these, down times, to allow myself to cry.  I found the shower to be a good place to cry as it is private and the water helps to prevent puffy eyes.  Red and puffy eyes always invite enquiry from  others and it is not easy to explain the feelings.

Sami just know that I am here for you when you need someone.  Be very kind to yourself , treat yourself as you would a very dear loved friend.

Lots of love and hugs to you

Lorraine xoxoxoxo