Lonely
Good evening all. I have just finished my 5th session of chemo and have one more to go in 2 weeks. My emotions have been up and down as to be expected, but I have been generally pretty upbeat. I have been told by the nurses in the Oncology unit that I seem to be one of their stronger patients, always smiling, upbeat etc. It's amazing the faces you put on in adversity.
I'm 42 and I separated from my husband in August last year and was diagnosed in January this year. Luckily we are still friends as he has been accompanying me to most of my hospital appointments. Each time I have chemo I stay at his place for a few days so I have someone to keep an eye on me.
I still feel very alone in my journey though. My work colleagues have been fantastic. They talk, listen and even provide hugs when necessary and wanted. Is there anyone else out there that is going this "journey" alone? The small things like sitting on the couch and having someone hold you or just laying down beside someone. These are the things that I am missing, not that I got them from my husband when we were together. It may sound strange that I'm dealing with the fact that I have breast cancer and have to make a decision soon as to whether they remove one or both of my breasts, but I am struggling with being lonely. Is this a natural human instinct that we all want somone to comfort us? This is one of the things that I am struggling with at the moment.