Life after treatment
Hi all I thought I'd start a new thread as I've been reading through the
post on After effects from treatment. I love all of your replies they
give me comfort, relief and validation. I didn't want ...
Forum Discussion
So sorry you are not supported emotionally as you need to be. Lots of good advice from the ladies above.
My suggestions are a bit sneaky perhaps. Maybe apply for a few jobs you don't have a chance of getting so your husband thinks you are trying. As one other lady pointed out, there aren't lots of jobs out there.
Also maybe draw up a roster of housework, shopping, cooking, which requires your husband to participate in these joyful activities and point out this will be needed once you are back at work. Suggest strongly everyone starts practicing this roster now. Point out that you will otherwise need a house cleaner. Women who work outside the home simply don't have the time or energy to do as much housework etc as they did when they were home. This may dull his enthusiasm for you going out to work.
No one knows what they would do if they got cancer, until it happens to them. If your oncologist said you needed chemotherapy, you needed it and did the right thing having it. It's a brave person who rejects chemotherapy when an oncologist says you need it. So it sounds like your husband isn't thinking straight on this. Maybe this shows he is simply thinking illogically and very emotionally. Which doesn't help you much but at least explains it. There is no need to justify your treatment to anyone, you followed doctors orders. They are very bright people who have studied long and hard on how to treat cancer. They might still get it wrong, but they stand less chance than those of us without their training and knowledge.
It may be he is burnt out from the stress of your illness and treatment. My own husband who has been a wonderful support, got very tired by the end of my treatment and even now, a year later, has not really bounced back. Over time, as you slowly recover, let's hope so does he.
I have found that pushing myself hard and willing myself to be 100% doesn't work and sends me to bed with extreme tiredness for days. It's only by doing things I enjoy and taking it slow with plenty of rest, that I make any progress.
Very best wishes Karen
My suggestions are a bit sneaky perhaps. Maybe apply for a few jobs you don't have a chance of getting so your husband thinks you are trying. As one other lady pointed out, there aren't lots of jobs out there.
Also maybe draw up a roster of housework, shopping, cooking, which requires your husband to participate in these joyful activities and point out this will be needed once you are back at work. Suggest strongly everyone starts practicing this roster now. Point out that you will otherwise need a house cleaner. Women who work outside the home simply don't have the time or energy to do as much housework etc as they did when they were home. This may dull his enthusiasm for you going out to work.
No one knows what they would do if they got cancer, until it happens to them. If your oncologist said you needed chemotherapy, you needed it and did the right thing having it. It's a brave person who rejects chemotherapy when an oncologist says you need it. So it sounds like your husband isn't thinking straight on this. Maybe this shows he is simply thinking illogically and very emotionally. Which doesn't help you much but at least explains it. There is no need to justify your treatment to anyone, you followed doctors orders. They are very bright people who have studied long and hard on how to treat cancer. They might still get it wrong, but they stand less chance than those of us without their training and knowledge.
It may be he is burnt out from the stress of your illness and treatment. My own husband who has been a wonderful support, got very tired by the end of my treatment and even now, a year later, has not really bounced back. Over time, as you slowly recover, let's hope so does he.
I have found that pushing myself hard and willing myself to be 100% doesn't work and sends me to bed with extreme tiredness for days. It's only by doing things I enjoy and taking it slow with plenty of rest, that I make any progress.
Very best wishes Karen