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catcrazy's avatar
catcrazy
Member
12 years ago

Is This Really Happening

Hi ladies, after the passing of MandaMoo my eyes have been opened to secondary cancer or 'mets'. I have mets to the bones and lungs and have been sweeping all of this under the carpet. I do not think about for one moment the fact that this secondary case could mean death. I have just started chemo ( just done cycle 2 of 6 ) and am handling really well, although this second session has been slightly more tiring. I have so many questions for my doc when I go back, such as what is so bad about a secondary case that apparently can't be cured? I am an avid supporter of beautiful young cancer sufferers such as 'Alisha Neave' who has some form of aggressive ovarian cancer who was unfortunately gravely ill and on the brink of death who has now found treatment in Germany that is prolonging her life - god love her. Then I think, well I am so well at the moment, and cannot fathom for one minute that this diagnosis could ultimately mean death. I am not meaning to sound depressed at all, but I am thinking that maybe I should be taking this all a bit serious. Perhaps I should be telling everyone just how much I love them and cherishing all the daily stuff that we take for granted. But it just doesnt seem right. For gods sake I'm only 39 and have lived a happy, healthy life. Last night, laying in bed when the penny dropped about what 'secondary' is I pondered if subconsiously this is why for so long I have done so much around our home? As silly as it sounds I wonder if the fact that I handlaid every paver in our garden and driveway, built our beautiful decks all by myself, repainted our house inside and out at least 6 colour schemes over 13 years lol , built our 6m x 8m cattery all by myself, built the side fences, built the goats stables etc, etc ( yes my hubby has total confidence in everything I do, he works in demolition and brings homes the goods and I do what I want with them lol ), anyway I wonder if this has been my way of making sure everything is done and everyone has been taken care of before this silly diagnososis came along? Perhaps I am delving a bit too deep now, but I would love ladies, fellow advanced ladies, thoughts on this. Thankyou for listening to me vent my sudden panic. Natalie xxxx 

chemotherapy

1 Reply

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    12 years ago

    I guess while you are feeling good it's hard to believe you have cancer.I don't have mets(well not that I know of)but I did get a recurrence in the same breast  7 years after the first bc diagnosis.I wasn't as fearful the second time,infact I believed it would be cut out and I'd be fine.I went back to work as soon as treatments finished and then after about a year something in me snapped. I quit my job of 16 years and sold my house of 23 years.We downsized to a single level home with minimal yard maintenance.We culled alot of our stuff and I think,subconsciously,I was organizing a home that my husband could manage should I die soon.So maybe we do things and there is an underlying reason but we are not aware.Hope chemo is not too hard on you and you continue to feel good.

                                                     Tonya xx