Forum Discussion

terrymoore's avatar
12 years ago

Depression am I at risk???

Hi all again,

when I was diagnosed with BC in January my GP told me I would go on a rollar coaster ride in the next few months and said "you can have whatever  "Happy Pills " you want", mainly because I also lost my Dad  in Feb as well  and so the depression factor must have gone up substancially. i filled the script and they are in my cupboard for a day when I may need them. Up till now Ive weathered the storms, Ive had my days of feeling ok and my days of feeling crappy. I guess they even themselves out somehow.

Just lately my days are not happy . Ive lost "the Joy " in things. I get up every morning and sigh and say what no?

Nothing excites me, most things fillme with dread eg if i have a party to go to I worry Ill feel ok I worry Ill look ok I worry people will give me "THAT LOOK" and politely avoid me. At home I have no money now and so I cant work on the projects I had. I honestly just exsist from one day to the next I start my excercise plans then only do maybe 3 days then i stop for whatever reason Im worried Im either in depression or Im at risk. Ill be honest my Oncologist cant tell me how long Ill be on chemo. He says well just play it by ear. Not words I want to hear. I like to mark crosses on my calendar so I have something to look forward to, now Im in a state of limbo and again everything revolves aroung my chemo Im sick of it Im sure my family are too. Well they must be noone visits at all They all work or have family . I just feel stuck !!!!

Am I depressed ? should I start those happy pills and throw in yet one more pill with side effects ?

regards Terry

 

8 Replies

  • Hi Terry So glad to read you are feeling better in yourself. Its normal to have your good and bad days. Its all part of being diagnised with the "c" word I think Take care Mel xxx
  • Take them, they won't hurt.

    I take Endep for migraine prevention but of course it is an antidepressant first. I felt incredibly angry and low at the strat but now I can take anything that is thrown at me. I am sure it helps with that - and bonus is that I have no migraine !

     

    Give it a go.

    much love

    magicmum

  • Take them, they won't hurt.

    I take Endep for migraine prevention but of course it is an antidepressant first. I felt incredibly angry and low at the strat but now I can take anything that is thrown at me. I am sure it helps with that - and bonus is that I have no migraine !

     

    Give it a go.

    much love

    magicmum

  • Hi Terry, I agree with Mel. There is no harm in giving the meds a try if they help you back into 'feeling more normal'. Even though I got terrific news on Wednesday that I don't have to have the last chemo tomorrow, I still broke down and cried in front of my Oncologist as my emotions have been off the scale in the past week or two. I kept thinking I should be happy that chemo is coming to an end (and now has) so why am I feeling so low. I felt so miserable. All I could focus on is the upcoming mastectomy and reconstruction. I am having nightmares about that. So this past week I have been lower than low and high as a kite. My Onc told me that a lot of women she sees, at this stage of their treatment, have had the proverbial meltdown. She says its all part of the process. She let me know that she has no problem in me having mild anti depressants if I need them and believe me I will now take them when needed. It really sucks that your oncologist can't tell you when chemo will end but he was certainly right when he said that you will be on a roller coaster ride. We are hit with so many punches through this journey aren't we. Give yourself a break Terry. I'm sure you will rise again (perhaps with a little help from meds). Draw on your strength and the strength of your pink sisters. You can do it girl. Sending you my love. Jane xo
  • Hi Terry, I agree with Mel. There is no harm in giving the meds a try if they help you back into 'feeling more normal'. Even though I got terrific news on Wednesday that I don't have to have the last chemo tomorrow, I still broke down and cried in front of my Oncologist as my emotions have been off the scale in the past week or two. I kept thinking I should be happy that chemo is coming to an end (and now has) so why am I feeling so low. I felt so miserable. All I could focus on is the upcoming mastectomy and reconstruction. I am having nightmares about that. So this past week I have been lower than low and high as a kite. My Onc told me that a lot of women she sees, at this stage of their treatment, have had the proverbial meltdown. She says its all part of the process. She let me know that she has no problem in me having mild anti depressants if I need them and believe me I will now take them when needed. It really sucks that your oncologist can't tell you when chemo will end but he was certainly right when he said that you will be on a roller coaster ride. We are hit with so many punches through this journey aren't we. Give yourself a break Terry. I'm sure you will rise again (perhaps with a little help from meds). Draw on your strength and the strength of your pink sisters. You can do it girl. Sending you my love. Jane xo
  • Hi Terry I think if we are all honest most of us have had the feelings you described so well. Unfortunately I think it comes with the other challenges we are facing. My experience was I was put on a low dose of Effexor ( 75mg ) when I was still in hospital recovering from my bilateral masectomy and was told that taken with gabapentin it would make a huge difference to the amount of nerve pain I felt. My surgeon never told me it was an anti depressant so i had no clue and just began taking it as instructed.A nurse looking after me who had travelled a similar path a few years earlier told me most women are put on a low dose of an anti depressant / anxiety medication to help get them through such a difficult time and that was when I clicked what sort of medication Effexor was. I travelled through the journey well experiencing what you are experiencing now on and off. In all of my wisdom I decided after a year my nerve pain would have improved so I stopped my Effexor suddenly. Even though it was a low dose I immediately began to feel lost and had no focus in my day to day activities. When I returned to my job as a preschool teacher the job I loved suddenly became a bit overwhelming as I looked after 30 3 to 5 year olds each day.'i went to see my gp who asked why had I just ceased my meds without consulting him. I said I had never been someone who liked taking anything :) and I thought my body had exceeded its limit of drugs with 16 chemos. I went straight back on my Effexor and after a few weeks was back to my happy self and the stress in my job disappeared. The bonus with Effexor is it is one of the drugs prescribed to alleviate those fantastic hot flushes too. I have recently been given a script for 150mg Effexor and if my recent diagnosis and the treatment etc becomes stressful I won't hesitate to up my dose to enable my mind and body to deal with this new challenge a little easier. There is no harm in giving the meds a go. Don't pit yourself under any extra stress or worry and save your energy for the fight ahead Hope hearing from someone happy to take these meds help in your decision making Look after yourself as the roller coaster ride can be sometimes be overwhelming Mel xxx
  • Hi Terry I think if we are all honest most of us have had the feelings you described so well. Unfortunately I think it comes with the other challenges we are facing. My experience was I was put on a low dose of Effexor ( 75mg ) when I was still in hospital recovering from my bilateral masectomy and was told that taken with gabapentin it would make a huge difference to the amount of nerve pain I felt. My surgeon never told me it was an anti depressant so i had no clue and just began taking it as instructed.A nurse looking after me who had travelled a similar path a few years earlier told me most women are put on a low dose of an anti depressant / anxiety medication to help get them through such a difficult time and that was when I clicked what sort of medication Effexor was. I travelled through the journey well experiencing what you are experiencing now on and off. In all of my wisdom I decided after a year my nerve pain would have improved so I stopped my Effexor suddenly. Even though it was a low dose I immediately began to feel lost and had no focus in my day to day activities. When I returned to my job as a preschool teacher the job I loved suddenly became a bit overwhelming as I looked after 30 3 to 5 year olds each day.'i went to see my gp who asked why had I just ceased my meds without consulting him. I said I had never been someone who liked taking anything :) and I thought my body had exceeded its limit of drugs with 16 chemos. I went straight back on my Effexor and after a few weeks was back to my happy self and the stress in my job disappeared. The bonus with Effexor is it is one of the drugs prescribed to alleviate those fantastic hot flushes too. I have recently been given a script for 150mg Effexor and if my recent diagnosis and the treatment etc becomes stressful I won't hesitate to up my dose to enable my mind and body to deal with this new challenge a little easier. There is no harm in giving the meds a go. Don't pit yourself under any extra stress or worry and save your energy for the fight ahead Hope hearing from someone happy to take these meds help in your decision making Look after yourself as the roller coaster ride can be sometimes be overwhelming Mel xxx