Depression am I at risk???
Hi all again,
when I was diagnosed with BC in January my GP told me I would go on a rollar coaster ride in the next few months and said "you can have whatever "Happy Pills " you want", mainly because I also lost my Dad in Feb as well and so the depression factor must have gone up substancially. i filled the script and they are in my cupboard for a day when I may need them. Up till now Ive weathered the storms, Ive had my days of feeling ok and my days of feeling crappy. I guess they even themselves out somehow.
Just lately my days are not happy . Ive lost "the Joy " in things. I get up every morning and sigh and say what no?
Nothing excites me, most things fillme with dread eg if i have a party to go to I worry Ill feel ok I worry Ill look ok I worry people will give me "THAT LOOK" and politely avoid me. At home I have no money now and so I cant work on the projects I had. I honestly just exsist from one day to the next I start my excercise plans then only do maybe 3 days then i stop for whatever reason Im worried Im either in depression or Im at risk. Ill be honest my Oncologist cant tell me how long Ill be on chemo. He says well just play it by ear. Not words I want to hear. I like to mark crosses on my calendar so I have something to look forward to, now Im in a state of limbo and again everything revolves aroung my chemo Im sick of it Im sure my family are too. Well they must be noone visits at all They all work or have family . I just feel stuck !!!!
Am I depressed ? should I start those happy pills and throw in yet one more pill with side effects ?
regards Terry