Hi - I remember my first chemo and like you I was up on the computer at 4-00am. I think the fear of the unknown is the worst. I ended up having 16 doses of dose desne chemo which means you get the same stuff just closer together. It was pretty horrible but definately managable - you just have to stay positive. Remember that whatever side effects you get from the chemo is better than letting the cancer beat you. I am about to start my radiation for the next six weeks so know that I am now on the later part of my journey. Having no hair is also not as bad as we all imagine you just have to embrace it and have as much fun with wigs, scarves, beanies as you can.Having cancer and going through treatment can be stressful but stay positive it is your best defence against this crap. Good Luck and thinking of you. Sue