6 taxol chemos to go

Ah dear had another taxol chemo yesterday good news is only six to go but I'm a bag of nerves my 22 yr old daughter has been staying since Sunday she left tonight she's not missed one of my chemos but I'm starting to feel overwhelmed and smothered last night as per usual the steroids kicked in I felt like I couldn't get up for fear that I'd worry her and she would stay longer I'm getting to the point that I need to be more of myself which is totally independant today again I got the talk I should go out etc yes I will go out when I can feel good and my cell count isn't so low I think she thinks it's just because of my bum fluff hair no eye brows lashes ( well that doesn't help) I've got my plan 6 weeks of this coping how I can then radio I want to be back at work after Easter then recon mid next year anyone else suffer with loving people too much to hurt them? Doesn't help that she's never liked my fiiancee of 7 yrs ah boy rant over I know I sound awful I just feel pulled in every way and find it easier if my closest never see the worst xxx